Total Balance

a beautiful weekend

2012-01-30T19:35:00.001+11:00

It's been a long time since I've had my own camera - other than a little 'point-and-shoot' that I take with me when we travel. Chris decided it was time to find me something that would produce great images and be small enough to carry around every day.

After much research,we bought a beautiful little Sony NEX-5N. I say beautiful but it's not exactly the most visually appealing camera I've seen. I've always had a bit of a thing for a retro looking Leica but I couldn't really justify it.

Using great sites like the Photography Blog, Snapsort and DP Review we were able to make comparisons with other cameras, learn about the key features of each and view sample photographs. It was time consuming but worth it.

So finally we picked up my camera last week and I spent much of the weekend looking at the world through a lens.

I have loved taking photos for as long as I can remember (it was the interest that brought Chris and I together in the first place) and it makes the world of difference having a great camera. Every colour is vibrant and the sharpness of the images is incredible.

Taking the time to compose a photo makes you look more intently at colours and shapes and light, bringing you fully into the moment. Looking at the world through the lens of the camera made my weekend just a little more beautiful.

oh the places you'll go

2012-01-20T08:18:00.003+11:00

Here's a little treasure from our clever friends at Holstee. Follow their blog...they find and create the most beautiful things. And if you've never read the original version of the Dr Seuss book, go out and buy a copy. It's lovely....I gave a copy to Elsa when she turned 18.

harvest

2012-01-16T18:31:00.000+11:00

After blogging about the Economics of Happiness last month and posting the clip on Facebook, I had one lovely follower give me some tips about growing my own tomatoes.

I have to confess, I had some help. Chris' mother bought us a healthy looking tomato plant which was covered in flowers and for Christmas, Chris and the girls planted it into a half wine barrel, complete with beautifully rich organic soil, a marigold and some basil and parsley - and a dripper so it gets watered automatically. I couldn't have chosen a more perfect gift.

And look! Those are my own tomatoes. In that short space of time the fruit ripened and was ready to eat. They were sweet and delicious and it was completely satisfying knowing we'd grown them ourselves.

Metaphorically, I sowed lots of lovely seeds last year. The other one that has just come to life is a beautiful new website, designed by the clever and very talented Andrew Englisch. It's called The Change Project. It's an online resource centre to help people create positive change in life.

It's been so well received by the people who have seen it so far - I hope you like it too. There are some free downloads (MP3s and an eBook) available on the home page and there'll be lots of new blog posts (at least a couple of new articles each week). We'll be running eCourses and events and you'll find a range of natural therapists and coaches on the site from all over Australia.

Drop by and have a look and let me know what you think!

the economics of happiness

2011-12-07T13:31:00.001+11:00

Yesterday morning I caught the train into the city as I do every Tuesday and Thursday morning. I sat in a seat away from the window to catch the sun. As we pulled into the next station, I moved across so someone could sit next to me and as she sat down, the woman turned and smiled and said 'thank you'.

I rarely chat to people on trains or planes. I savour the time to myself. I read or listen to music or just daydream. But yesterday my companion and I struck up a conversation.

One thing led to another and she told me about a film that a friend had introduced her to on the weekend called 'The Economics of Happiness'. Who would have thought that a stranger on the train would tell me about something so engaging that I am now working out if I can possibly get to Berkeley, California next March to attend the conference.

Here's a preview. I hope you feel as inspired as I do.

what success really looks like

2011-11-24T10:46:00.000+11:00

Ah...how true. From http://www.facebook.com/ThingsAreBeautiful. Love your work.

life is short

2011-11-17T08:06:00.001+11:00

Here's another absolute gem. The Holstee Manifesto is a call to action to live a life full of intention, creativity, passion, and community. From the clever guys at Holstee.

on gratitude

2011-11-16T09:04:00.001+11:00

The lovely Cate from The Wellbeing Corner shared this little clip on her blog recently. I thought you'd enjoy it too. It's beautiful.

defining your values

2011-11-07T10:46:00.002+11:00

While I was away in Byron, I revisited my personal values. If you've never worked on your values, the best way to start is by creating a mind map. Use a big sheet of paper and lots of coloured textas or pencils. These help you to connect with the creative part of yourself. Put on your favourite music and allow yourself plenty of uninterrupted time.

What exactly are values?
Your values are your heart's deepest desire about how you want to live your life. They can describe how you want to be or they can be personal qualities you want to espouse.

Grouping your values
The image above is actually my second mind map. The first one was much more scattered and random. It included words that I found meaningful such as 'fairness' but ultimately, I found other ways to express the same value that resonated more for me. In this second mind map, I grouped the values from the earlier mind map into four main areas (inner harmony, health, creativity and connection). Collecting your values into no more than five simple categories makes them easier to remember.

Resist the urge to be perfect
You'll see that I've included some 'how' words as well in the creativity section (these are marked with a little cross). Technically, these aren't really correct - values are supposed to be more about how you want to 'be' rather than what you want to 'do'. But I resisted the urge to be perfect (something I find so difficult!). I was going to redo it but chose not to because I wanted you to see that it can be messy and imperfect and you can veer slightly off track but it will ultimately still serve the same purpose.

Are you aligned with your values?
Once you've refined your values, check in with them and see how you're tracking. My values don't change much but periodically I know that I'm more aligned with some and less aligned with others. What jumped out at me most this time was my need for 'space'. This is something I don't have a great deal of at the moment and an area that needs some attention. Another reason for me not redoing the mind map was that it was going to take time away from other things (essentially creating less 'space').

What are your values? And are you aligned with them?

byron bay retreat

2011-10-23T20:13:00.003+11:00

As soon as I arrived at Sangsurya to run this year's retreat, I remembered how much being there feels like an escape. The bush setting immediately connects you with nature. The birdsong, the lush garden and the ocean in the distance set a scene of complete calm.

We were blessed once again with a beautiful group of women. All with open, generous hearts. So it was just as wonderful as last year.

After it was over, Meg and Chris joined me in Byron Bay so we've just spent five days lazing about in the sun. We walked and read and Chris took beautiful photos.

And every day a humpback whale and her calf splashed about just off the shore.

Spring cleaning

2011-10-05T18:30:00.001+11:00

There's something about spring that makes you want to fling open the doors and let a little fresh air in. And then you notice how grubby the windows are and how much dust has collected on the ceiling fan and how untidy your office looks. Well, if you're anything like me and you've let everything go over winter, you do.

I set aside a bit of time over the last few weekends to get organised and it's amazing what a difference it has made to my mental state. As soon as I started to tackle a few of those nasty jobs, I felt more motivated, more energised and so much more focused. Not to mention virtuous!

With the windows clean and a beautiful clear view of the garden from my desk, I was motivated to tidy my filing, reorganise the folders and files in my computer and I have even sent the tax stuff off to the accountant.

Despite the fact that it was all so dull and boring at the time, it's truly wonderful once it's done. As the saying goes, a tidy house is a tidy mind.

So get onto it! Do your spring cleaning. If you don't think you can handle it alone, get in touch with my lovely friend Claire from Organise Your Life. She'll help you get sorted out.

are you ok?

2011-09-15T16:14:00.002+10:00

Today is RUOK Day in Australia. The website describes it as 'a national day of action which aims to prevent suicide by encouraging Australians to connect with someone they care about and help stop little problems turning into big ones'.

It's another small initiative to help raise our awareness about the mental wellbeing of the people around us.

Sometimes we avoid meaningful conversations about how we're really feeling...I do it myself sometimes. It's often easier to respond with 'yeah, I'm good' rather than giving an honest answer and let's face it, there are plenty of times when it just wouldn't be
appropriate to answer truthfully.

But if you sense someone struggling, make it a priority to ask the question. Download the tips from the website and make time today (or later this week) to ask a friend, a family member, your partner or a colleague if they really are ok.

wired to worry

2011-09-09T09:41:00.003+10:00

'I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.' Mark Twain

I had a conversation with a client this week that reminded me of how often we worry unnecessarily. My client works with a manager who doesn't give her feedback. She's conscientious and committed to her job and a sensitive, thoughtful girl. She admitted that frequently, she thinks the worst about her boss' opinion of her. If he's snappy, she wonders what she might have done wrong. If he calls an impromptu meeting with her, she anticipates the worst.

Some of us have a natural propensity to worry. And it's often largely unhelpful.

If you're wired to be a worrier, try some of the ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy) tools outlined in Russ Harris' book 'The Happiness Trap'.

Develop your self awareness so that you notice yourself worrying and tell yourself 'that's me doing my worrying thing again'. Notice how you feel when you worry - where it is in your body, what it does to your heart rate and any other changes you become aware of.
Don't beat yourself up about being a worrier. Initially, just notice how often it happens and label it as worry (this is the 'acceptance' part of ACT). The principal here is to recognise that difficult feelings are just difficult feelings that we will all experience them from time to time.
Finally, choose an action you can take that is aligned with your values. This is what Russ calls 'workable action' (the 'commitment' part of ACT). Sometimes the action might be related to the worry - have a conversation that needs to be had or take control of an area of your life that is making you unhappy. But at other times the action may be to simply get busy with something to take your attention away from the worry. Exercise or any other vigorous activity (such as cleaning the house, washing the car, mowing the lawn) can be good.

Over time, defusing worry in this way helps to limit its grip on you.

what I've noticed

2011-08-19T18:27:00.001+10:00

Chris and I have been travelling for the past three weeks. We've been in Italy and Spain and we've had the most wonderful time.

One of the things I love to do most when we're away is to sit in a cafe and watch the world go by.

I'm fascinated at how much all people are the same, even with our subtle differences. Here are some of the things I noticed.

All small boys love throwing stones into a body of water and playing with running taps...and all of their mothers get stressed about their shoes getting wet.

Italian women wear heels everywhere. Even in the most inappropriate places (like getting on and off ferries and hiking up steep cobbled streets in Varenna, Lake Como).

French women are the most stylishly dressed women in the world. You can pick them anywhere.

Every place in the world looks its best as the sun is setting. And it's the perfect time of day to sit and enjoy a glass of wine.

The most delicious food in the world is simple. The Italians do this so well. They turn freshly made pasta, beautiful quality olive oil and parmigiano, tomato and basil into one of the best summer dishes I've ever eaten.

Most people are considerate and courteous. We're in Barcelona at the moment it's absolute peak holiday season. There are literally millions of people in the city and it's noisy and hot. Yet people queue patiently to get into museums and galleries with little complaint.

European women are great at celebrating their bodies - regardless of shape or size. In Barcelona, you're never too old or too big to wear a bikini.

And finally, Melbourne does the best coffee in the world. Who would have thought?

Visit our Facebook page if you're interested in seeing some pics.

what I'm listening to

2011-07-21T17:00:00.000+10:00

I love music. And I particularly love discovering something new. Our girls introduce us to some great artists so I figured I should share some of them with you from time to time. Here's one of my faves. This guy has the most beautiful voice.

on being vulnerable

2011-07-05T21:47:00.000+10:00

A few people sent me a link to this talk just over a week ago...which was very thoughtful. It's nice that my friends (and even clients) know me so well. They knew I would find Brene Brown to be yet another inspiring woman. You'll love this talk. It's well worth the twenty minutes. I've watched it twice already (and I never watch anything twice!)

inspiring women

2011-06-27T10:37:00.001+10:00

I was looking for a gift for a favourite friend on Friday and remembered Queen B candles. These beautiful beeswax candles are handmade here in Australia. I called the number on the website to find a Melbourne stockist and was lucky enough to speak with Cate, the owner of the business.

We talked for about twenty minutes and realised some serendipity - we have a shared friend, we like the same blogs and we're passionate about similar things.

I came away from that call feeling completely inspired. It made me reflect on the fact that in the past week my path has been crossed by at least a dozen inspiring women - some friends, some clients and some, like Cate, complete strangers.

Here are a few I consider worthy of a mention.

I had an impromptu coffee at Eclipse with Liz from Lizzy C on Tuesday. She's an amazing young woman. As well as being a brilliant photographer with a very successful little business, she lives a creative, adventurous life that's aligned with her values. Every time I see her she has some new project on the go or a new trip in the planning.

On Thursday I made an appointment to see a kinesiologist because my hip has been quite sore after all the yoga. I contacted Kerry from Awaken Kinesiology who I felt I already knew after following her blog for a year. She was as warm and as genuine as she comes across in her posts - and she's obviously completely passionate about her work.

I chatted with four beautiful women who have all walked away from mainstream jobs to do something creative that they're passionate about. Shelley from Galerie Montmartre, Stef from Nest PR, Sarah from denu and Nadine from Think Nimble.

And while I didn't speak to them this week, I have to include Lucy from The Design Files and Jodie Fried from Bholu on this list. These gorgeous girls are two of the most inspiring I know. Lucy has created a business that I'm sure she'd say is beyond what she ever imagined it would be. I have no doubt that a huge degree of her success comes from the fact that she's genuinely one of the nicest (and most humble) people I have met. As is Jodie. As well as establishing a socially conscious business, Jodie has an ongoing commitment to give back - designing, building and sustaining ten pre schools in India for a community who were desperately in need.

And finally, I want to mention for a treasured friend, Lindy. Like the other women I've mentioned, she's doing what she's passionate about. She walked away from a regular job years ago to set up a couple of small businesses, but both are on hold for the moment because she's found her dream role - being a mother. And she's undertaking that role with a wholeheartedness that is a joy to be around.

I am completely inspired by each of these women and it's an absolute pleasure to have them in my life. If you have time, read their stories. Hopefully you'll be inspired too.

being on retreat

2011-06-21T19:00:00.002+10:00

Meg emailed a couple of months ago to tell me she wanted to go on a yoga and meditation retreat for her 20th birthday. She asked me if I'd like to join her and we have just returned from nine heavenly days in Bali.

I haven't done a lot of yoga before - mostly my exercise consists of gym and walking. But I loved it. My body is still a bit weary after almost five hours a day but interestingly, I haven't felt as rested in years.

Before we left I didn't give a lot of thought to what we'd be eating but it turned out to be a complete detox too. We ate beautiful vegetarian food and had no alcohol or dairy and very little coffee, wheat or sugar. It's amazing how you don't even miss those things when you're not around them. We did treat ourselves to a latte and a shared tiramisu one morning at Indus (their delicious sweets are cooked at Casa Luna where you can take cooking classes that come highly recommended). As Meg said, you can't imagine how much you enjoy a treat when you haven't had one for over a week.

We're hoping to find a way to make this happen every year if we can. It was the nicest way for us to spend some time together.

Vanessa and Michael (who ran the retreat) don't have any others coming up soon, but one of the other participants, Rose Hawkins is also a yoga teacher (and the most beautiful person) and she's running her retreat in Italy in September if you feel inspired.

Or join us in 2012 for our very own meditation retreat at the same beautiful location.

what could you change?

2011-06-09T12:26:00.001+10:00

A client emailed me this blog post (summarised here), written by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care worker who was reflecting on her conversations with patients.

When she questions her patients about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Read the full post here. How true this is.

What could you change so you don't have the same regrets?

daylesford

2011-05-30T20:19:00.000+10:00

Chris and I went to Daylesford last weekend. It's the most beautiful place to visit in autumn...the colour is spectacular.

I had an SLR camera all to myself for two days and it was such a treat to be able to take some photographs again.

If you're thinking of going, there are a couple of places I'd recommend. Cliffy's is great for coffee or breakfast and Farmers Arms is fantastic for either lunch or dinner. We had a late lunch sitting at the bar which was great. I just love that country pub atmosphere.

On Saturday night we stumbled across Horvats, a little wine bar with live music and delicious woodfire pizzas. Friday night is jazz night and Saturday night is a mix of styles. Mostly they feature local musicians. We saw two acts - both very talented - and we spent a bit of time getting to know Gabriel, the owner and wine maker.

And finally, make sure you walk around the lake at least once while you're there and if you have time, have a mineral bath at Hepburn Spa. We slept so well afterwards.

meditation workshop

2011-05-27T09:11:00.000+10:00

We held another meditation workshop a couple of weekends ago and Chris came along and shot just a little bit of footage so he could put together this gorgeous little video for the website. Thanks also to Lizzy C for the stunning photos that we have included.

This is the beginning of a series of videos we want to do for this website and the new one (which will launch in a couple of months). I have absolutely loved having a new creative project...and it's been great to finally get to work on something with Chris.

Meditation workshop for women from Chris James on Vimeo.

creativity

2011-05-18T13:15:00.000+10:00

This is truly delightful.

work life balance workshop in Melbourne

2011-05-16T17:42:00.000+10:00

Finally I've put together a half day work life balance / stress management workshop for the general public.

Details are as follows. We would love to see you there.

Where: 454 Collins Street, Melbourne (cnr William)
When: 3 June 2011 9am-1pm
Cost: $250 if you register before 26 May
Who should attend: Anyone who would like to learn more about balancing work and life and managing stress.

For full details, download a copy of our brochure here.

reconnecting

2011-05-05T16:04:00.001+10:00

When Chris and I were in Bali last year, we went on an eco bike tour which was the highlight of our trip. Our guide was a young Balinese guy who had a fantastic sense of humour and an adventurous spirit. He rode down those hills at break neck speed. I was well out of practise riding, so at times I was terrified. But I absolutely loved it.

It reminded me of when Chris and I first started going out. We lived in St Kilda and we rode our bikes every weekend. When the girls were little, we put them in bike seats and rode around with them. As they got older, they rode alongside us. And then somewhere along the way, the girls lost interest and our bikes got rusty and old so we just stopped riding.

Chris has some friends who cycle, so he took it up again early last year and after Bali, I decided to join him. I'm not brave enough to ride on the road but the bike path along the beach is only ten minutes from home. So I bought myself a beautiful retro bike and we have started riding together.

It made me realise how much I had missed having a shared interest. For years we've been parenting, renovating houses and landscaping the garden together. Now the girls are grown, the renovations are finished and the garden is taking care of itself. So we need to find new things to keep us connected.

We cycle along beside the beach and chat about other stuff we can do together. We've only had a handful of rides so far but it's been great to reconnect with something we love to do.

visiting mona

2011-04-13T11:07:00.000+10:00

Chris and I had a weekend in Hobart recently for the birthday of another long time friend. Which gave us the perfect excuse to get to Hobart's new modern art gallery, Mona.

As someone else said to me after their visit, 'words fail me'. It is truly one of the most breathtaking, awe-inspiring places I've ever been.

We took the ferry (highly recommended but rug up if you like sitting outside) and spent an hour and a half which wasn't nearly long enough.

Make a day of it if you go. There are places to eat so you can rest your feet and contemplate the artwork over a glass of wine before heading back for more.

a creative career: where to begin

2011-04-08T07:59:00.000+10:00

We love this advice from Barrie Barton. Thanks to the lovely Lucy from Design Files for sharing. We recommend you subscribe to her blog for lots of fabulous ideas about design and creativity.

JuniorTV // 03 - Barrie Barton Right Angle Studio from JUNIOR lifeatthebottom.com on Vimeo.

eat with me - a clever social networking idea

2011-04-05T19:43:00.002+10:00

Now here's a great idea. Eat With Me describes itself as 'a unique social networking site offering users new ways to connect with people through sharing food and eating together.'

Thanks Clance (of Tour de Clance - Melbourne and beyond foodie blog) for sharing.

guest post: all as one

2011-03-29T16:25:00.000+11:00

A friend of mine told me the other day that the thing she loves most about her work is that it has taught her that, as 'cosmic' or 'hippy' as it may sound, we are all as one. We are all the same.

It is so easy to judge people day to day, because not everyone treats us as we would like to be treated or in the way that we might try to treat them. In business and in our personal lives those we come across are often self serving, selfish, conceited, arrogant, macho, soft, angry, aggressive or just plain stupid.

All of those labels, however, are just that. They're labels, words we use to attribute meaning to people we haven't taken the time or made the effort to try and understand. The one common thing that every single person we meet - be they arrogant, stupid, selfish or whatever - is that they are a human being, and worthy of our respect.

There is always a reason people act the way that they do. You don't have to agree with the reasons, nor do you have to agree with the way that those people act, however, if you can make an effort to at least understand and accept the way people are today, it makes life so much more enjoyable, less stressful and allows us to move through our days with grace.

It might even allow us to try to interact with that person in such a way that we help them understand why they act the way they do and perhaps even help them to change a little for the better. It ain't easy, I find myself getting pissed off all the time with my clients, my friends, my colleagues and my family, but I keep trying to understand. I'm sure I'll be challenged again today, as will you, the key is to remain calm, try to undertsand and be graceful in how you handle the next challenging individual that comes your way.

What a wonderful realisation to reach, that we are all as one. I hope one day I get there too.

Kindly contributed by Alex Brennan - recruiter, writer and coach. For coaching with Alex please contact 0424 756 233 or alex.brennan@tom.net.au.

we're thinking of you

2011-03-18T12:39:00.001+11:00

It’s difficult to think about ourselves when the world is in such crisis. To desire more than a roof over your head, fresh water and food on the table seems almost ungracious at the moment. And no doubt for you, as well as for me, there’s a great feeling of helplessness. Sending a donation seems like such a token gesture when you read of the devastation that is occurring around the world.

Like so many others, I have the hope that everyone in the world will sleep warmly at night in a comfortable bed, with a full belly and a sense that they’re safe.

That's not the case for so many people right now.

We can send support to those in need in a practical way by donating.

And collectively, we can take a moment to send our love and our thoughts to all of those people living in uncertain times.

interesting clients: alex brennan

2011-03-07T15:14:00.003+11:00

Alex Brennan works in recruitment in Melbourne at T+O+M, specialists in the banking and funds management sectors. (This is not how he dresses for work by the way...he also helps out at harvest time on the family property in northern NSW, and enjoys ‘going bush’ when he can.)

Alex's role involves recruiting mid to senior level executives in accounting, strategy, transformation and risk. Like me, Alex also has a passion for coaching and developing people and does some of this in his spare time.

What do you love most about having your own business?

While I don’t own my own business (yet) running a recruitment desk is akin to owning your own business in many respects. The autonomy you have to manage your time, priorities and ultimately your success is empowering, the results you get from doing it is even more so.

What would you do differently if you had your time over?

Get focused sooner! The first seven years of my recruitment career were hard work, great fun, and produced good results, but I didn’t have a clear idea of what I was ultimately trying to achieve. This may have been because I listened to and trusted in what my superiors said a little too much. Having realised that your own best interests are not always top of mind for some people who give you advice, I’m now much more disciplined and analytical in assessing information and making decisions that affect me. That said, you’ve gotta make a few mistakes to learn the big lessons and so I s’pose I wouldn’t have it any different as it has got me where I am today.

What are you most proud of professionally?

Maintaining integrity, honesty and an eye for what is really important in life despite working in a field which often distracts, confuses and influences you in the wrong way.

Who inspires you?

My family and friends, all the great coaches I have worked with professionally and on the sporting field, those who overcome adversity to make the most of even the worst situations, the perennially positive and those who don’t take life too seriously.

Who are the most impressive professionals you have met recently?

I’m lucky to interact with some incredibly diverse, intelligent and engaging executives at the banks and fund managers in Melbourne and Sydney. While I must maintain strict confidentiality, suffice to say that no two people are the same, yet all of us have many things in common, most of all being human! I love finding out what makes people tick, and helping them achieve their goals, recruitment related and otherwise.

What are you looking forward to?

Every minute of every day for the rest of my life. Even the tough ones.

How did coaching help you?

It allowed me to achieve clarity around what was best for me and mine, and to ensure that I’m always focusing on the most important relationship I have, that which I have with myself. If that is in good shape, all the rest of the important relationships I maintain look after themselves.

What’s your personal philosophy on how to live life well?

Have a crack at anything and everything which you think might challenge you, extend you, make you think differently and help you become more than what you already are. Stay positive and have fun.

Feel free to get in touch with Alex if you're looking for a new role.

0424 756 233

alex.brennan@tom.net.au

inspiring people

2011-02-28T14:36:00.000+11:00

Lucy Feagins of The Design Files, who is inspiring, creative AND completely gorgeous, has tapped back into her film making skillset to put together this short film about a clever initiative Greenhouse by Joost in Sydney. Well worth watching!

GREENHOUSE BY JOOST from The Design Files on Vimeo.

inspiring people

2011-02-09T12:48:00.002+11:00

This is one of most inspiring stories I've come across. What an amazing, beautiful man.

Thanks to Liz from Lizzy C Photography for sharing it with me. It completely made my day.

chasing a dream

2011-02-02T13:10:00.002+11:00

'If you don't have a dream, how are you going to make a dream come true?' Oscar Hammerstein  

A few years ago, one of my clients lent me the book 'The Alchemist'. It's a simple little story about being true to your heart's desire.  

In the book the King of Salem says to Santiago, the young shepherd boy who dreams of travelling the world, "Everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives."  

I wonder what is is that stops us from chasing our dreams?   Maybe we stop believing we can have what we really want or maybe fear prevents us from risking change.   When you chase your dreams, you are vulnerable. Failing at something you care about is far more devastating than failing at something you don't.

So often we don't try. We stay comfortable and safe. And potentially we're a little less inspired by life and maybe even a bit cynical about other people pursuing their dreams.

The King went on to say, "To realise one's destiny is a person's only real obligation....And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

If you believed that, would you be brave enough to go after what you really desire?

making assumptions

2011-01-26T10:06:00.000+11:00

Chris was asked to get hold of some props for a television commercial he's working on later this week. One of the things they need is an old, weathered barbeque. Always keenly observant, he already knew where he could pick one up. A couple of blocks away from our house there was a pile of hard rubbish on someone's nature strip waiting for collection. Amongst that pile was the perfect barbeque.

So Chris headed down there to pick it up figuring he was doing everyone a favour.

The owner of the property, an elderly lady, spied him through her curtains and marched outside. 'It's about time you people took that rubbish,' she shouted. 'It's an absolute disgrace how long it has taken.'

You can imagine the tirade when he only took the barbeque.

Chris and I had a laugh about it when he got home. It's funny isn't it how quickly people jump to conclusions? I know I'm guilty of it too sometimes.

It reminded me not to just assume things about people. So often we have no idea of their motives or even what's going on in their worlds.

So much better to approach life with an open minded curiosity.

'buy nothing' for february

2011-01-19T11:15:00.009+11:00

A few years ago I read about something called 'compacting'. It's an idea that was started by a small group of friends in the US who wanted to simplify their lives. They made an agreement to buy nothing new for six months other than food, medicine and basic toiletries.

As I have watched the devastation in Queensland and Victoria in the last week or so, I have given lots of thought to the idea of simplifying life.

So many families have lost everything they own in the floods. Many are dealing with the loss of loved ones too. I can't imagine what they are experiencing.

I look at my own family and feel grateful for the fact that we're all together and safe. I look around our home and feel gratitude for everything we own. And I realise I don't need any more than what we have.

For the month of February I'm going to give up buying anything new.

I'll donate to the Salvo's flood appeal instead.

Are you interested in joining me?

being mindful

2011-01-12T20:38:00.000+11:00

The strangest things happen.

After that last blog post I had calls from another three newspapers and then the photo above appeared in the Herald Sun last Saturday. And yesterday, I had a call from a television producer about appearing on a morning show next week (an offer I had to decline unfortunately). I must have seriously put the whole PR thing out there in a big way!

I sat on this rock while the photographer took his shots and listened to the water as it lapped against the shore. In all honesty it wasn't that comfortable but I savoured the warmth of the late afternoon sun on my face and the sense of indulgence I experience whenever I stop and bring my attention fully into the present moment.

There's something about being mindful that I find completely restorative.

Can you find a quiet place to stop and be present today?

the power of intention

2010-12-15T20:36:00.000+11:00

If you've read my newsletters you'll know I'm not a fan of The Secret. But I really do believe in the age old philosophy of the power of intention or what is often known as 'the law of attraction' which dates as far back to Plato in 391 BC.

I was fascinated by science at school (amongst many other things) and I still like evidence based theory. Which meant that when I first heard about the law of attraction around nine years ago, I was sceptical.

And then I began working with clients and hearing their stories of small miracles. I wish I'd written each of them down - I'd have a book of miracles to share with you. These days I'm less surprised by them - but when a miracle happens in my own life I still feel a sense of delight.

Here's what happened yesterday.

I had some updates to make to the website - the latest newsletter, some general tidying up and I needed to update the Publicity page (something I hadn't done since March). "That's interesting," I thought. "I haven't done a radio interview for a long while and press interviews have been quiet in the last couple of months."

Within an hour (I kid you not) I had a phone call from a radio station requesting an interview about meditation. And then this morning I had a call from a freelance journalist for a body+soul article.

Completely miraculous.

What can you put out there this week?

bon à manger

2010-12-06T13:16:00.002+11:00

I love Melbourne for its fabulous food and the coffee culture. And I love seeing someone young doing something they are truly passionate about.

Just a few weeks ago Sam Hall-Haydon opened Bon à Manger on the corner of Hardware Lane and Little Bourke Streets.

Sam is a family friend and a delightful young man who has invested lots of hours and a huge amount of energy into this inspiring little venture.

I can highly recommend the food - everything is made with the freshest ingredients Sam and his team can find and it's absolutely delicious. And as you can see from the photos, the attention to detail in all aspects of design is impeccable.

Pop in for breakfast, a coffee or lunch this week. You'll love it.

byron bay meditation retreat

2010-11-23T20:21:00.005+11:00

I've just come home from our first ever Byron Bay meditation retrea t. It was one of the best week's I've had in my life.

The lead up was somewhat stressful. The colleague I had lined up to help me had to withdraw because her mother was seriously ill.

It was just a couple of months out - and I was completely overwhelmed.

Then I realised that a long standing friend Judy, who was attending the retreat might be able to help. I called her and asked how she'd feel about running some qigong classes (she's a tai chi and qigong teacher with over 20 years experience). 'I'd love to,' she said.

She ran those classes and did a whole lot more and everything unfolded perfectly.

The retreat was held at Sangsurya - a beautifully positioned 10 acre property a few minutes outside Byron Bay. We had an incredible team of support people - organic caterers, massage therapists, yoga teacher and an African drumming teacher. And the women who came were beautiful, generous, warm and completely engaging.

And Judy and I had a ball. I'm not sure how we'll top it next year. But I hope we come close. I haven't laughed so much, eaten so well or felt so completely relaxed in years.

Here's what the women who attended said...

'Energising, informative, fun, loved the meditation, the lovely women and the chilled out attitude.'

'I loved the contrast in Kate and Judy's style. It kept it light and easy. A great balance of elements - quiet, fun, play, exercise, friendship, talking, walking and food.’ 

’Just amazing - I can't stop raving on to everyone about it - very special and at the risk of sounding corny - it was life changing. It's the very best thing I've ever done and I'm a bit of a retreat/workshop junkie!’  

'Surpassed my expectations. Well organised and planned and fantastic variety of activities. Very nurturing, supportive group of people in a superb location. Couldn't be better.'

'The best place, the most peaceful setting.'

'What an amazing experience! Every day was full of wonderment.'

'Totally loved it. The best retreat I've ever attended. Wonderful vibe. Such a beautiful group of women. Beautifully led by Kate and Judy.'

wishing anne well

2010-10-31T15:55:00.000+11:00

A couple of weeks ago, our lovely Anne Allardice (who sees clients for personal and career coaching) was rushed to hospital. Within days, she was undergoing emergency surgery to remove a brain tumour. All of this was completely out of the blue.

I spoke to Anne yesterday and she's doing incredibly well. She is positive and philosophical - her outlook is amazing. Anne has been fit and healthy all her life so her reasoning is that she has been very lucky until now and maybe it's just her turn.

It's no wonder her recovery time has exceeded any of her surgeon's expectations. She has such a positive outlook and a tremendous will to live. Anne is surrounded by her family members. Her husband of over thirty years has been keeping us up to date with her progress. Their recently married daughter flew home from overseas as soon as she heard that Anne had taken ill and she's here to stay while her mum recovers. And their son lives close by so Anne is lucky enough to be surrounded by the people she cares about most.

We will be thinking of her as she faces the next few months of treatment and we'll certainly miss her while she's away.

A big thank you to Pollon Flowers (tel 9663 8232) for the beautiful spring bouquet they put together for us to send to Anne. And an even bigger thank you to Anne for sending us the pic. We love them too!

interesting clients: carol scott

2010-10-22T15:06:00.004+11:00

Working with Carol Scott has been a real eye opener. I have to confess, I'm not an expert in her field - which is primarily working with museums (and other culturally significant organisations) to help them build value through engaging the public in innovative ways and developing strategic partnerships with important stakeholders.

I have been inspired by Carol for a number of reasons. Not only does she maintain enthusiasm and open mindedness, she's one of the most articulate, intelligent and focused people I have had the pleasure of working with.

Carol is based in London and during the time we have worked together she has travelled to Sweden, the USA and Shanghai, speaking at conferences, building networks and talking with museum directors about their strategic direction. What an amazing role and what an inspiring woman!

What do you love most about having your own business?

I love the idea of being to create the life and the future that I want to have and want to live. It is very empowering.

What would you do differently if you had your time over?

I would have taken some time to really think about I wanted to do instead of feeling obliged to do what was expected of me.

What are you most proud of professionally?

When I began working in museums, the field of evaluation and audience research was embryonic. To be on the ground floor and to be able to establish a code of ethics and practice, to convince senior executives of the usefulness of the research and to create an Australian literature that captured the different approach that we were taking in this country compared to elsewhere was a real achievement.

Who inspires you?

My inspiration comes from a lot of younger people who are motivated, questioning, creative and have values that contribute to making society better.

What are you looking forward to?

Working with executives in cultural heritage organisations who are finding exciting solutions to the challenges of economic sustainability, audience retention and building Public Value.

How did coaching help you?

It provided a structure to think through a range of things; not just business planning and marketing but who I was, what I have to offer and what kind of a business and personal life I want to create for myself. It was a very confirming experience. It gave me the confidence to believe in the direction that I instinctively knew to be authentic and appropriate for me at this time.

What’s your personal philosophy on how to live life well?

Working from the centre and striking a balance.

finding your dream role

2010-10-18T16:05:00.018+11:00

Around this time last year I wrote a newsletter about finding your dream role. This is a topic that comes up again and again with our clients so I thought it was worth posting a copy of the newsletter here. Just as a reminder.

If you read this a year ago and it resonated with you and you still haven't done anything about it...maybe now is the right time?
---
It intrigues me that so many of us were steered into the wrong roles. I used to think it was only my generation who had limited choices. When I finished school almost 30 years ago girls were encouraged to be nurses, teachers, hairdressers or secretaries. There's a much broader choice available these days, but still, so many young people are directed into roles that are not a good fit.

Career decisions are often influenced by sensible things like earning capacity and job security - important considerations but really not the be all and end all. It's cliched but true that when you get to the end of your working life you won't look back and wish you'd spent more time in your accounting role if in your heart of hearts you know you're really an artist.

It is encouraging to think that most young people these days will have a number of different careers but most of us know that it's still quite difficult to transition into a new role. Many people don't know even know where to begin.

If you know what you'd love to be doing, you're half way there. Even if you can't easily move into your dream role you can begin by looking for ways to make a slow transition so you don't have to change everything in one hit. This might mean taking a part time job that will pay the bills while you develop experience in a new field, start your own small business or return to study.

You might begin planning your move knowing that you won't be able to make it until you're 50. But don't let that stop you from formulating your dream. You can still make plans and take tiny steps. Even these steps will bring you some satisfaction. (I have worked with clients who have changed careers at 60...it is never too late). I know from my own personal experience that there's nothing in the world that will make you happier than spending your days doing what you feel you're meant to be doing.

If you know what your dream role is, write it out in detail. Be as specific as possible. Visualise where you'd be working, what your day would involve, who you'd be working with...even what you would wear. Get as clear a picture as you possibly can.
If you don't know what your dream role is begin by mind mapping all of your values, interests, skills and strengths and see where they lead you.
Consider how you can change your existing role so that you can use your strengths and achieve some of the elements of your 'dream role' (e.g. if you love people contact, talk to your manager about how you can be more in touch with clients or stakeholders in your current role).
List your existing skills, strengths and achievements and look for any that are transferable (e.g. being a good negotiator, the ability to think strategically, customer service).
Revise your CV to highlight the skills you would need in your new role.
Review your network and talk to anyone you know who has connections in the industry or type of role you want to be in.
Work part time in a role that will pay the bills while you work towards your dream job.
Talk to someone about your career aspirations (or your career confusion). You don't always need a qualified career coach or counsellor to help (but please contact us you if you do). Ask a friend to give you an hour of their time to let you run through your concerns. Often just hearing yourself talk it through out loud gives you some clarity.

more fun

2010-10-06T12:07:00.000+11:00

This is one of my favourite ads of all time (you know by now that I love a slide...and this one takes the cake!).

living a purposeful life

2010-09-22T13:06:00.000+10:00

I've worked with clients from all walks of life. There are stay-at-home mums, CEOs, PAs, tradesmen, surgeons, lawyers, artists, entrepreneurs, actors, business owners, merchant bankers, massage therapists, IT managers, policemen, advertising execs, writers, students, songwriters, receptionists, retirees...and a whole host of other occupations in between.

Every one of these clients has a similar objective. They want to fill their days with meaningful activities and live a life with some sort of purpose.

There was a time when I found the whole 'life purpose' question unanswerable. I was looking for something original, creative, inspiring...and Big. And then I thought about what comes naturally, what matters most to me.

I discovered that my life purpose is completely unoriginal - I want to make a difference in other people's lives. I'm interested to do that in my own way so for me it means making a difference in very small ways (cooking a favourite meal for one of my girls, organising beautiful venues for our meditation days, buying the Big Issue each week) as well as slightly bigger ways (the work I do with clients, being environmentally conscious, creating a great place to work for our team, donating a percentage of our profits to charity). But I've come to realise that in my lifetime, I probably won't make a difference in a Big way...and that's ok.

Choosing a life purpose can be hard. Whatever you choose, find something that comes naturally to you and something that you're actually drawn to. Living your life purpose doesn't mean you have to sacrifice pleasure! To the contrary, I think that living a purposeful life should also mean living joyfully.

Most importantly, make sure you choose your life purpose, not someone else's.

Here are some examples of other people's life purpose:
To make others see the humour and lightness in life
To help other people develop
To be the best friend/partner/parent you can be
To create
To see beauty in everyone and everything
To live a spiritual life
To inspire others
To find stillness
To find financial freedom
To change the world in some way
To continue to develop and grow

hurry mindfully

2010-09-14T21:20:00.000+10:00

When you're busy, you can still be busy mindfully. I know it sounds like an oxymoron to 'hurry mindfully' but it really does work.

Quite often I'll cram just a little too much in to a day. The difference between a busy day that has a sense of calm about it and one that feels chaotic is in the way we approach it.

Next time you're rushed, take a moment to bring your attention back to the present. Focus on your breath - pause and take a couple of deep breaths. Then scan your body - notice where you're tense and let that part of your body relax.

Your mind will be a little clearer. It may then be worth taking a few minutes to stop and reflect on whether you really need to be in such a hurry.

If you do, then get on with. But as you hurry through your tasks, make sure you hurry mindfully.

are you happy?

2010-09-07T06:44:00.002+10:00

Thanks to Lori Deschene for this link (via her friend @JoshuaDenney).

people matter most

2010-08-29T20:50:00.000+10:00

This week I had lunch with Shelley from Galerie Montmartre. She is one amazing woman.

Just over two months ago, Shelley arrived home to find her strong and healthy husband Stephan in a coma in the hallway of their house having suffered a massive brain bleed.

Stephan spent three weeks in intensive care and then another couple in the special care unit. He is now in rehab and will be for a month or two more. The road to a full recovery is promising but for all of the family (including their two beautiful little boys) it's been a huge and unexpected shock.

Throughout it all, Shelley has remained unbelievably calm and composed. Early on she made a decision that she'd share the journey openly with her blog readers and Facebook friends and the outpouring of support has been phenomenal.

Witnessing the way Shelley and her friends and family have handled this trauma has changed the way that I look at life. I have been awestruck (as maybe she has been) by the unbelievable amount of love that's been sent her way. It has reminded me of just how good people are.

I am humbled by my visits to the hospital. When the people around us are well, we can easily forget about the suffering of others.

I've been reminded of the incredible power of a long standing loving commitment between two people. These two are a couple like no other couple I know.

And I have a new found respect for the people in this world who put other people first.

If you have a chance this week to put yourself out to show your support for someone you love, make sure you do it.

quieten the noise

2010-08-22T20:35:00.003+10:00

Every day we are bombarded by a huge volume of noise from emails, phone calls, voicemail messages, text messages, the internet, television and radio and other forms of media.

We know that much of this information won't improve our quality of life but still, we tune in. It's addictive, staying connected.

Just an hour away from the noise every day gives you time to breathe - and focus your attention on the things that really matter.

A longer break when you take a holiday gives you time to reflect on your life choices. And put everything back into perspective.

Take a break from the noise today.

interesting clients: jodie holmes

2010-08-18T18:24:00.006+10:00

Jodie Holmes from Seaside Creative is the designer who helped me out with updating the logo and the website recently.

In an earlier post, I talked about my struggle with decision making and how Jodie's patience made the world of difference during the design process.

Jodie is also another inspiring client of mine. She is incredibly hard working, passionate, open, completely approachable, always professional and to top it off, she has a great sense of humour. It has been a pleasure working with her both as a client and as her business coach.

What do you love most about having your own business? The flexibility to work on a wide range of interesting and varied projects as well as the clients behind them. Being able to make changes about the business, when the need arises. Being at a stage of the business that I can say no to those jobs or projects that are not aligned with the direction the business is headed.

What would you do differently if you had your time over? Nothing, to be honest.

What are you most proud of professionally? The business that I own and run, and the lifestyle it has given me. The team of like minded professionals I have attracted and are part of my team.

Who inspires you? A number of people inspire me, Louise Olsen, Stephen Ormandy and Liane Rossler - Dinosaur Designs, Vince Frost - Frost Design, John McGrath, Tricia Guild, Porters Paints, the way each have created their brand and application of that brand and the reputation they hold in the marketplace.

What are you looking forward to? What is truly possible in my business, and what the future holds.

How did coaching help you? Coaching has been the best investment, it has helped me stay focused on my goals, and assisted me whenever I have felt overwhelmed or frozen unable to get clarity. Coaching has also empowered me to truly believe I could achieve that big hairy audacious goal!

What’s your personal philosophy on how to live life well? Balance, regular exercise, healthy eating, regular holidays, knowing what you are passionate about and engage in it regularly.

the real you

2010-08-09T19:54:00.006+10:00

Recently, someone asked me the question 'when is it that you feel most like the real you?'. I'd like to say that I'm the real me all of the time. But I realised there are times when I find it easier to be really real.

When I'm cooking for family or friends I feel a great sense of connection with the real me. When I'm writing, taking photos, working with clients, walking along the beach, gardening or meditating - these are the times when I feel most me.

I find it easier to feel a connection to my true self in nature - or when I can at least see my garden or feel the warmth of the sun as it streams through my windows. Even hearing the rain on the tin roof makes me feel that I'm in touch with something real.

What about you? What are the places and roles that make you feel most like the real you?

If you're interested to hear more on this topic, join us for Robert Rabbin's 'Five Principles of Authentic Living' talk on Tuesday 17 August in Melbourne. We still have a handful of places free.

finding refuge in bali

2010-07-29T18:28:00.016+10:00

We've just had another holiday. I know. I seem to just be on one big long holiday these days.

This trip was to Bali for ten days. It was originally to search for a meditation retreat venue but having organised (and now filled) our Byron Bay retreat and with plans for a shorter retreat in Daylesford early next year (details coming soon), we decided Bali could be more holiday than research. And it was absolute bliss.

Holidays are the best form of refuge from the real world.

If you're travelling to Bali any time soon, here are a couple of things I'd recommend.

We found a great driver and it really made a difference for longer trips. His name is Wayan Sunia and his contact number is +62 812 364 9080. He's lovely and has a very comfortable air conditioned car!

We ate local food as often as we could - Made's Warung in Seminyak is great. You need to book and the phone number on the website is incorrect...call 732 130. Lotus Cafe in Ubud is a lovely place to have lunch. And for a little bit of luxury, La Lucciola in Seminyak is divine.

We took an eco bike tour from Ubud which was one of the highlights of our trip and had a massage at a local spa in Ubud (very simple but clean and the staff were beautiful).

And you have to see the sunset at Uluwatu. We found a classic little untouched warung on the side of the cliff where we sat for a couple of hours watching the surfers as the sun went down.

interesting clients: rebecca smith

2010-07-15T14:16:00.019+10:00

Rebecca is one of those women who has packed three lifetimes into one already. She's been a lawyer, barrister, buyer at Mecca Cosmetica and she's the mother of two boys. These days, with her business partner Lisa, she heads up de nimes, a stylish little boutique in Camberwell.

The mission of their business is not just on getting your casual wardrobe looking great, but making the shopping experience a pleasure (not a trauma as many of us find it).

Rebecca's a great advertisement for her store. She has that knack of always looking incredibly stylish but still completely relaxed. It's a style I greatly admire...and (I know, I say this every time) she's one of the nicest people you could possibly meet.

What do you love most about having your own business? The overwhelming sense of satisfaction you get when you stand back and realise that your own little idea has grown into something tangible - it amazes me everyday that it has evolved into something real that other people find interesting, helpful, worthwhile.

What would you do differently if you had your time over? Trust my instincts – each and every time.

What are you most proud of professionally? That I have been able to re-invent myself rather than getting stuck. I have realised that you can start off on one path, and although it may make no sense to anyone else, you can end up on a new path, with a whole set of new skills, ideas and wonderful networks. But every stage has a purpose and helps you move forward.

Who inspires you? Strong, witty and energetic women who start something from scratch and remain polished and respectful every step of the way. Jil Toovey from the Institute of Knowledge Development is an inspiring mentor and one of my most treasured friends. She combines wit, warmth and empathy and is at the top of her game professionally.

What are you looking forward to? Figuring out what is next for me - Kate – can you help me?!

How did coaching help you? Coaching forces you to hold the mirror up – I love the opportunity to evaluate my strengths and weaknesses and how to better manage these to produce effective outcomes. I like the bird’s eye view it gives you. After a session with Kate I walk out of there feeling anything is possible. Kate manages to look at a business from many different angles, she has a wealth of new ideas and reading material at her fingertips and is testimony to her own philosophy of balance and creativity.

What’s your personal philosophy on how to live life well? Be authentic. Keep learning. Travel as often as you can so you realise that your tiny little world needs to be shaken up from time to time. Do yoga. Surround yourself with people who are warm, funny and positive and realise that when you really struggle with a relationship or a situation, it is probably not the right fit for you – and that’s ok.

the girl effect

2010-07-10T08:08:00.003+10:00

I saw this great little clip a while ago and forgot about it...until I spotted a link on the lovely Jodie Fried's Bholu website. Great clip, great concept. More info @ www.girleffect.org.

two minutes to soothe stress

2010-07-06T16:13:00.011+10:00

Usually when you're uptight you'll feel it somewhere in your body. You might not notice the physical sensations at the time - your focus will generally be on whatever it is that's causing you to feel stressed.

Bringing your attention into your body is a great way to help you to relax. And it only takes a couple of minutes. Give it a try now as you read the instructions.

Begin by breathing deeply - feel the breath go right into the belly and pause for a moment before breathing out slowly. Do this at least three times. Make each breath long and soothing.

Then scan across your body, from the top of your head (slowly) down across your face, neck, shoulders. Into your chest and abdomen. Notice where you're holding any tension.

Now take the breath to that place, breathe into it and let it go.

Let your body feel heavy. Relax into your chair. Feel where your body makes contact with the chair. Imagine you're sinking into your seat...let every muscle in your body relax.

Breathe a few more deep breaths.

Once you feel completely relaxed you might want to let your thoughts wander (calmly) back to your problem.

for fun

2010-06-30T20:39:00.002+10:00

Here's a little gem that I stumbled across on a cheery blog called Meet Me At Mikes. I haven't met Pip but she's a friend of Shelley's. One of the things I love most about blogging is the interesting people you stumble across who are doing inspiring creative things.

I wish they had one of these at my station. Love it!

wake up to wellness workshop with sherry strong

2010-06-23T09:00:00.010+10:00

My friend and colleague Sherry Strong is a Melbourne based Food Philosopher & Nutritional Strategist.

She is holding a one day workshop in South Melbourne this Sunday 27 June and she still has a few places available at a reduced price of $197.

The workshop is designed to help people who are experiencing low energy, trying to lose a few kilos, people who are facing illnesses like cancer, heart disease or diabetes or anyone who wants to be truly healthy and have amazing quality of life.

This one day workshop will cover how you can:
• Slow the ageing process
• Dramatically increase your energy
• Look years younger in one month
• Bounce out of bed happy, every morning
• Beat addictions & eliminate temptation
• Avoid ageing foods & crave life giving foods
• Achieve super healthy weight loss without dieting

For bookings contact Sherry directly on 0412 098 992 sherry@sherrystrong.com

interesting clients: greg pritchard

2010-06-15T19:14:00.014+10:00

I've lost track of how long Greg and I have known one another but it must be getting close to four years. We met when he was working in a senior role at Macquarie Bank and contemplating where to go next with his career. Courageously, he chose to walk away from the security and kudos of employment with a prestigious brand to set out on his own.

Greg's story is one I often share (confidentially) with other male clients who feel tied to corporate roles. It's a tough decision to resign eight days after your wife has just had a baby. But that's what Greg did and three years later, I'd doubt that he'd say he has any regrets.

Greg's last comment about 'integrity being about how you act when no one is watching' sums him up perfectly. He's a great guy and a complete inspiration. He is too polite to talk himself up but I can tell you he should feel proud of his incredible work ethic and the success he's achieved with Dedication Group in such a short time. The sky's the limit for Greg. I hope his story inspires you to follow a dream.

What do you love most about having your own business? Building a sustainable business which can truly benefit our clients through successful project delivery, whilst empowering the people in Dedication Group to achieve their career goals. I love the responsibility of leading and growing something bigger than just me.

What would you do differently if you had your time over? I would have zeroed in on Dedication Group's niche much sooner. In the beginning; we were all things to all people and ended up being nothing to no-one. By narrowing our focus to only technology projects for financial markets, which was where our strength lay all along, we could connect with prospective clients more quickly and intuitively

What are you most proud of professionally? I'm proud of all the hard work and learning drilled into me over the years at Macquarie Bank and ANZ. The extreme level of knowledge, skills, experience and battle scars I achieved during that time has given me the perfect grounding for this phase of my life.

Who inspires you? I'm inspired by people who set goals for themselves and then go out there and achieve them; with no more hand-up in life but their own determination and hard work. Two names which come to mind are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mark Bouris. Both set goals that were important to each respectively and delivered. Doing what you say you will is so important; especially when the promise is to yourself.

What are you looking forward to? I'm looking forward to growing Dedication Group. For staff, I'm looking forward to building a business that they are proud to work in. For myself, I am looking forward to pushing my boundaries to learn and succeed in areas I never thought I could achieve; such as business development to large corporates.

How did coaching help you? Coaching allows me to get in touch with the path I know is right for me; but sometimes is forgotten or not clear. Whether it's a business challenge or revisiting personal goals and life priorities; Kate's coaching style provides a safe, confidential and totally supportive environment where I can move forward with confidence.

What’s your personal philosophy on how to live life well? As the saying goes; integrity is how you act when no-one is watching. So too, the multitude of promises to yourself and your loved ones; such as eating right, exercising, and treating others with love and respect. If you keep those little promises; the big ones will take care of themselves.

is gratitude enough?

2010-06-08T16:40:00.026+10:00

Sometimes themes appear with my clients. Not obvious ones like everyone feeling a bit less energetic because of the cold weather - but more subtle things. This week's theme was that people feel they should be more grateful for what they have.

Gratitude is such an important part of Positive Psychology but sometimes it's not enough.

It is important to bring your attention to what's going well in your life but it's equally important to acknowledge what isn't.

Mindfulness is about learning to be present to your experience - to notice and acknowledge your feelings and thoughts (good and bad), without judgement.

In a way, this is contradictory to the experience of expressing gratitude - which many people find confusing.

There must be room for both gratitude and acceptance in our lives.

For the most part, our brains have a negative bias, so many of us have a tendency toward pessimistic thinking. Which is why practicing gratitude is important. But it's unrealistic to always be optimistic and positive. And for anyone who's spent too much time with a 'Pollyanna' type, you'll agree that it's downright annoying.

Life will always be a blend of suffering and joy.

Sometimes we need to just go with our experiences as they arise. And feel them for what they are.

By all means ask the question 'is there anything I want to change?'. But don't beat yourself up if you don't feel gratitude for every moment of the day.

Life sucks some days. And that's ok.

serendipity

2010-06-02T12:23:00.008+10:00

'For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned upon me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.' Fr. Alfred D'Souza

I had the pleasure of chatting with a wonderful coach from Byron Bay yesterday. Kate Ramsay has been coaching since the early 1980s (before coaching was even called coaching). As often happens with the people you're meant to meet in life, our paths had crossed a couple of times without us even knowing one another. Finally, Kate emailed me and we decided to have a chat.

Our work is very aligned - although we market it slightly differently. Kate coaches leaders and runs individual retreats at her property in Byron Bay. Have a look at her website for more information.

After we spoke, Kate sent me some information about her programs as well as a copy of her recent newsletter which included the beautiful D'Souza quote above. I have read this quote many times before and it is one of my favourites.

Isn't it strange how that happens?

interesting clients: shelley trbuhovich

2010-05-24T20:34:00.011+10:00

Shelley is one of those people you meet and fall in love with instantly - she is warm and funny and intelligent (and she's beautiful to boot).

I met Shelley and her gorgeous husband Stephan not long after they had moved their vintage poster business Galerie Montmartre into their own premises in Fitzroy. Their youngest son was just a baby and it was a challenging time for them in some ways - but one that they have embraced wholeheartedly. They are a fantastic team and inspiring in every way.

Shelley very kindly agreed to be interviewed for the Total Balance blog.

What do you love most about having your own business? I love the freedom to explore concepts and ideas. I love that if something isn’t quite working, it’s up to me to think about ways to get it right. I particularly love that I can go in directions that interest me, which often leads to meeting likeminded, fabulous, creative people. I love the instant feedback having your own business gives you – both positive and not so positive. I love seeing a dream become a reality.

What would you do differently if you had your time over? Not much at all, to be honest.Although, I’m not sure opening a retail space in the same year as having my second child was particularly wise.....expanding a business and a family all at once is challenging. I feel like my sanity is just returning!

What are you most proud of professionally? I am really proud that our business is 100% ours, we built something from nothing but passion and an idea. We behave with integrity which seems to be spreading via word of mouth to customers, creatives and overseas colleagues. I am also very proud that we have made our product accessible to anyone who would like to own one, via the diversity of our images and the use of payment plans.

Who inspires you? Oh my goodness....how long do you have?! I am constantly inspired. At the moment I am particularly in awe of ‘mature’ women who continue working in creative pursuits, not allowing age or gender to stop them; Marie-France Cohen, former creator/owner of Bonpoint and now creator/owner of Parisian store Merci; Carine Roitfeld, French Vogue Editor; U.S Vogue creative director Grace Coddington; photographer Annie Leibowitz; designers Diane Von Furstenberg and Betsey Johnson; actor Helen Mirren and closer to home; presenter/ journalist Maggie Tabberer; chef/author Stephanie Alexander and always, always French born, Melbourne artist Mirka Mora.

What are you looking forward to? Seeing what Stephan unearths on his next buying trip; painting our floorboards at home glossy white; a Queensland holiday before the year’s end; a cashflow that takes care of itself (is there such a thing?!); another full day a week at work; my little boys becoming beautiful citizens; the name Galerie Montmartre being on everyone’s lips!

How did coaching help you? My business partner also happens to be my husband, so coaching really helped us take the personal out of the professional. Our business, on many levels, is an extension of ourselves – we started out as vintage poster collectors - so naturally the personality traits (and quirks....his, not mine, of course!!!!) come out in many ways in the business world. Seeing Kate was a way of sorting out the personal stuff from the business stuff; helped me define what was important to me and actually hear what was important to Stephan.We had a tiny baby and a toddler and a retail space in it’s infancy when we met Kate so it was an extremely stressful time, having her calm in the midst of the busy-life storm was exactly what we needed. We were vulnerable, tired and time-poor, so having someone like Kate help direct us to prioritise and take little steps towards our goals was wonderful.

What’s your personal philosophy on how to live life well? I love people, but I honestly think that life is too short to be spent with people that don’t feed your spirit. If I come away from being with someone feeling ‘less than’, then chances are I’m not going to hang around that person too often; if at all (and chances are, they’ve left the encounter feeling the same anyway!).As a recovering people-pleaser, this personal philosophy is only about 12 years old, so far it is holding me in good stead though.

Also, good food and good people are a perfect combination. Dance like no-one’s watching is a pretty good thing to do too. Taking time out for myself is absolutely vital and still something I am learning. I am becoming more spontaneous the older I get; I love to give gifts for no reason and tell people how I feel about them whenever I think it - I’ll send a text, write a note or make a call. I like to think I live and let live......I love that little saying!

Happy birthday Mukhtar!

2010-05-19T14:33:00.005+10:00

I don't actually know Mukhtar but this is just beautiful. There's no language barrier when it comes to spreading happiness.

10 ways to stay motivated at work

2010-05-18T20:37:00.010+10:00

There will always be an ebb and flow in the level of motivation you feel at work. Some weeks the projects you are working on seem to play to your strengths and other weeks your tasks feel like a weight on your shoulders.

 If you have a sense that your motivation level has been excessively low for some time, it may be time to look for a new role.

But if you are simply going through one of those tough patches, here are a few ideas to keep you focused and positive.

1. Don't allow your standards to slip. When you’re lacking motivation, it’s easy to let your standards slip. This ends up being a catch-22 situation because the less effectively you perform your role, the less you like yourself and the more de-motivated you become.   The simplest way to overcome this is to make a clear decision to begin afresh tomorrow morning and put in a concerted effort to lift your game. It often helps to undertake a simple task to get you started such as tidying your desk.

2. Try to see the value in the project you are working on.  If you are involved in a particularly tedious task, try to direct your energy to an aspect of the project that you are more interested in rather than focusing on the things that you find repetitive or frustrating. Sometimes it's as simple as reframing your view.

3. Clarify your career direction. Talk to your manager, your HR department or a career coach or counsellor about where your career is heading. Getting clear about the big picture helps you make sense of why you're doing the daily grind.

4. Remember why you wanted this job in the first place.  Think back to what appealed to you in the job ad or at your interview. Perhaps you have just stagnated in your role. Perhaps there are training opportunities that would boost your commitment and enjoyment. Are you taking advantage of all of the opportunities available to you?   

5. Create an open relationship with your manager . If your manager doesn’t know that you’re struggling, they won't be able to help. Let them know if your deadlines are too tight or if you feel that your work is repetitive and not challenging. Don’t just assume there isn’t a solution without letting them know you need help.

6. Avoid office gossip . One of the most damaging behaviours in an office environment is to compound your feelings of frustration by speaking negatively about your organisation to your peers. Whilst it is important that you get support, see if you can do this outside of your workplace or better still, try to resolve your frustrations. And put a stop to other people’s negative comments by not engaging in the conversation.

7. Review your personal goals . Are you de-motivated because you feel this role is taking you away from the things that really matter in life? Maybe it’s worth reassessing where you can achieve better balance outside of work…take up a new interest, commit to an exercise program or make time to really enjoy your relationships. It’s important that your life is not all about work.

8. Find 'your people' at work. You may find that there are people with similar interests in other departments or areas of your company. Building social networks within your workplace can help you feel a greater sense of connection with your organisation.

9. Develop your confidence. One of the greatest causes of feeling demotivated at work is a lack of confidence in your ability to perform your role effectively. Build your confidence by focusing on what is going well; stretch yourself by doing one small challenging thing each day or adopt the qualities of a role model to help you begin to see yourself differently.

10. If necessary, take a break . If you are finding it hard to concentrate at work because you are dealing with personal issues or if you suspect you might be suffering from depression, take some time off to look after yourself. Visit your GP or talk to a counsellor to get the support you need.

we've got a new look!

2010-05-09T13:46:00.006+10:00

Over the past few months I’ve been working with Jodie Holmes from Seaside Creative and together we’ve created a beautiful new design for the website, newsletter and blog – which I absolutely love.

Unlike many of the things I create, I really took my time with this. There have been several iterations and many revisions that Jodie has been wonderfully patient about.

At the beginning of this project I had an intention to create a design that I felt truly proud of. I wanted the look to be fresh, clean and contemporary. I wanted the energy to be slightly different. I can’t really put this into words but once it was there I knew it was right. And as challenging as this process has been it was well worth the wait. I hope you love it too - www.totalbalance.com.au.

being real

2010-05-03T17:43:00.016+10:00

Last Friday I was truly inspired. I'm volunteering with Reach, an organisation that works with young people. Reach was founded by Jim Stynes back in 1994 and since that time they have worked with literally thousands of teenagers helping to build their self belief.

The day that I attended is one of their 'Heroes' days. Five hundred students from a range of schools come together to experience something that I imagine is totally different to anything else they've ever done. The Reach crew are young themselves (mostly in their early 20's) so it's hard to tell them apart from the kids. They speak the same language and gain their trust quickly using edgy music and media in an atmosphere that feels more like a nightclub than a classroom. What unfolded that day was incredible.

Through a range of activities, the facilitators invited the kids to strip back the layers and get in touch with who they really are. They talked about ego and spirit and the mask that we all put on when we go out into the world. They invited them to be real - to have honest conversations about things that really matter rather than just hiding behind teenage bravado.

I have no doubt it is a day that leaves a lasting impression. I was only on the fringes, yet many times I was moved to tears. I felt humbled, drained, inspired and uplifted all at once.

It left me with a great sense of hope. Those teenagers had a glimpse into a world where something different is possible - a place where you can be real and be accepted for exactly who you are.

interesting clients: liz bull

2010-04-29T16:39:00.035+10:00

Liz Bull from Lizzy C Photography and I met around a year ago. From the time we met, I was completely inspired by her. She's the youngest business owner I know - and one of the most successful.

When Liz decided to set up her business, people tried to talk her out of it. They said she needed to work as an assistant first. She ignored them and got on with it (this pretty much sums up her personality - she's one of those 'can do' girls with a truly vibrant energy).

These days she is highly sought after and almost booked out. To top it off, last week she won AIPP's 'Victorian Landscape Photographer of the Year' award - including a bunch of other silver awards.

Liz has very kindly volunteered to be the first participant in our new blog segment profiling some of the fabulous clients we work with. Hopefully you'll be inspired by their stories.

What do you love most about having your own business? Doing what I love. Meeting and working with a wide gamut of people each with their own interesting story.

What would you do differently if you had your time over? Nothing. A mistake is only a mistake if you don’t learn from it.

What are you most proud of professionally? Not taking the most conventional career path and making it work for me. Oh, and winning the Victorian Landscape Photographer of the Year, last week.

What are you looking forward to? Being continually challenged and having the opportunity to work on more personal photographic projects which challenge, inspire and document the world around me.

Who inspires you? Margaret Bourke-White because she was a pioneering female photographer who took photographs which are a testament to the time and events of her era. I really like her photographs.

How did coaching help you? I’ve found that in general it has helped me focus my goals and keep on track. I particularly like working with Kate because she understands my business ethos and helps me to stay true to it.

What’s your personal philosophy on how to live life well? Surround yourself with people who inspire, challenge and care about you. Have many great conversations over great bottles of wine.

Visit Liz's website to see some of her fantastic work.

building resilience

2010-04-20T20:12:00.013+10:00

Some of us are born resilient. I have a client who is lucky enough to be one of those people. She had an experience at work recently that reminded me of the difference between those of us who bounce back and those of us who don't. Maybe it's a skill we can learn.

My client was putting together a presentation to give to a group of work colleagues. We talked about it in a recent session and from what she told me, her content was interesting and engaging.

On the day she was due to present, there were two speakers before her. Both were exceptional, original and well prepared. As so many of us do, she started comparing herself unfavourably and began to lose her nerve. Her mouth was dry, her heart racing and she considered feigning illness.

Then from somewhere deep within she found an inner strength. 'Something shifted all of a sudden,' she told me later. 'I said to myself, I need to get on with it. I'm just going to give this everything I've got.' And that's what she did. She knew she was well prepared, her material was good so she got up and delivered that talk with as much confidence as she could muster. As it turned out, hers was the only discussion that got the group talking and her manager's feedback was excellent.

What a fine lesson in resilience. Next time you doubt your ability, maybe all there is to do is dig deep and draw on the strength you have within you. Then give it everything you've got.

only in hobart

2010-04-13T20:43:00.014+10:00

We're just back from our long weekend in Hobart catching up with old friends.

We both love this place. From the moment you arrive it is (quite literally) a breath of fresh air.

Chris collected a rental car at the airport and took a wrong turn when he came back to pick me up. The airport parking guy waved and smiled. 'Next time go round that way mate,' he called. So different to the parking guys in Melbourne!

As always when we're on holiday, we spent lots of time walking. We strolled down a side street in the beautifully picturesque Battery Point and I was overwhelmed by the smell of roses. And then I remembered that this is what it's like in Hobart. The air is so clean that you can smell the fruit trees, the herbs and the fragrant flowers as you stroll along an urban street.

Just five minutes out of the city we stopped so that Chris could take photos of a lovely little run down jetty. I sat on the wooden bench in the sun as he took his shots and the passers by all wished me 'good morning'. When we wandered down onto the beach a family of ducks appeared - completely out of nowhere!

We felt like we'd stepped back in time to a place where things were simpler and more peaceful than before. We could have been tempted to stay forever.

6 tips for decision making

2010-04-07T08:15:00.014+10:00

My husband would laugh if he knew I was writing this post. He thinks I'm the worst decision maker in the world. He'd probably ask me how I could possibly be dishing out advice on this topic. And I'd say he's quite right albeit for one point. Because I am such a poor decision maker, I've learned a few strategies that help. So as much as I'm writing for you, this post is also a 'note to self'.

1. Create a visual

I struggle imagining things before I can actually see them. An example was when we renovated this house about 16 years ago. We designed the extension ourselves and bought some beautiful second hand double-hung Edwardian windows for the south facing wall. The builder asked me what height I wanted the windows. 'About here?' he asked, putting a mark on the wall. 'Sure,' I said, having no real idea what that would look like. When I came home that afternoon the windows were sitting low to the ground with a huge amount of space above them and they looked hideous. I knew there was no way I could live with those windows so I asked the builder to shift them up. Which was no small job but I have never once doubted that decision.

So what did I learn? That I need to see things - I can't always imagine them. I could have resolved this by asking him for a sketch (to scale) so that I could see what the end result would be. And that I should only work with very patient builders.

2. Take your time

This one is a challenge for me. I'm usually all about action and not much about taking my time. Which is funny because I love meditation and that's the complete opposite to action.

If you're not sure about a decision, sleep on it. Meditate on it. Take your time. Don't rush. If you must make a decision hastily, take half an hour out of your day and go to your local park. Lie on the grass under the trees and let yourself completely relax. Quite often the answer will arise by itself.

3. Listen to your intuition

I can't emphasise this point strongly enough. Recently we were given some financial advice by someone I knew instinctively wasn't a good fit for us. Don't ask me why. Needless to say it all went a bit pear shaped. Which has always been the case when I ignore my intuition. Listen to those little niggles. Trust yourself. You really do know what's best for you. Even if you can't explain why.

4. Get it on 'appro'

When I was a child my mother only ever shopped by taking things home on 'appro'. I love this old fashioned concept. It was a trust based system where you took home a frock or a new pair of shoes and tried them on in your own time. And you got to see what they looked like in your own mirror. It was a system that didn't just apply to clothes but often home furnishings too. Which is so important. How are you expected to know if a lime green cushion will look ok on your charcoal coloured sofa without trying it? I have one little shop in my local strip that still offers this service - and I love it. The alternative for me is to shop at places where they happily refund or exchange.

When your decision is about something other than a purchase, see where you can apply the 'trying it on for size' principle. Spend a day working in a business before making a decision; ask for referrals from like minded friends for professional services and then interview three before making a choice.

5. Write it down

For bigger decisions like whether to take on a new role, start a business or move overseas, spend some time writing a paragraph or two of what that experience will look like once you're there. This process requires imagination - putting pen to paper helps you to think creatively. Often once you get to the end of your written piece you may find you've arrived at a place that isn't what you'd imagined.

6. Tell the truth

Let the people you work with know that you're inclined to change your mind. Recently, I've been working with a new designer, the lovely Jodie from Seaside Creative. At the outset of our professional relationship I let her know that I'm not always great at visualising things. I told her I'd know once it was right but the steps along the way can be mildly painful. I asked her to factor in changes and assured her that I was always happy to pay for extra revisions. Setting it up from the start has made life easier for both of us. I'm taking my time and sleeping on decisions. Thankfully Jodie is the most patient person in the world.

I've taken more time on this design process than any other business decision I've made and I honestly feel that it will be well worth the wait.

a beautiful thank you

2010-03-29T08:57:00.016+11:00

We had another wonderful one day meditation retreat on Saturday.

The day is wonderful for a whole lot of reasons but mostly because of the women who come along. The class is always filled with warm, generous, open minded people who are willing to laugh at themselves and learn from each other.

I get so much out of it myself. I leave feeling relaxed and comforted by the connection we create when we relax enough to truly be ourselves.

I can't take all of the credit for the fact that the workshops are so special. They're undoubtedly a joint effort.

To give you an idea of the generosity of spirit in that room, I want to share with you this beautiful thank you letter that was sent through to me yesterday. What an absolute gem.

'Yesterday's meditation workshop was like a warm cocoon in which the pace of the outside world simply ground to a halt.

A whole day to slow down, refocus and get in touch with my core values.

Coming to the day with some prior knowledge of meditation, I was able to reconnect with the basics but quickly move into a deeper experience of powerful group meditations, engaging discussions and deep thought about “where to next?”

It was the perfect environment of warmth, acceptance and openness, a true reflection of you.

Your knowledge on the topic of meditation and many interesting satellite topics was shared in a simple, un-intimidating and light-hearted way - with plenty of room to move in and out of areas that piqued the interest of the group.

It was an immediately accessible workshop without any austerity or sacrifice – and plenty of yummy food!

The very first meditation of the day was for me the most powerful and it set the tone for a day that left me totally rejuvenated and utterly refreshed. But most importantly it succeeded pushing me to achieve my goal, which was to once again find some regular time for daily meditation practice – finally!

I cannot wait to come again! Thank-you so much Kate.'

realising a dream

2010-03-25T12:45:00.009+11:00

Earlier this week I met with my wonderful friend Judy from Corporate Chillout for coffee. We went to our new favourite cafe, Monk Bodhi Dharma in Balaclava.

I can't tell you how much I love this place. It's tiny (and I love all things small), the coffee is fabulous and their food is earthy, wholesome and homemade but still completely delicious. Which is something very few places manage to balance well.

But there was something else that made the visit truly special and that was bumping into one of the owners, Kate Shaw who was once a client of mine. She greeted me with her beautiful smile and told me that this little business is the creation of her and her husband Marwin.

When people do things with great passion as Kate and Marwin have clearly done, the results are so often incredible. Their attention to detail is evident everywhere. From the 'just right' lighting, to the warmth and texture in all of their choices in decor to the friendly and efficient service as well as the great coffee and food.

This place is a dream. Kate and Marwin's dream. And it's well worth a visit (or two).

old friends

2010-03-18T07:47:00.016+11:00

I often talk to clients about mapping out their ideal year then breaking that down into their ideal month, week and day. It's something I love doing myself - it helps me to prioritise the things that make my life really enjoyable. (I'll write more about this in a later post).

One of the elements of an ideal year for me is having regular breaks. They don't need to be anything fancy - just a long weekend down the coast is enough to make me feel refreshed. But ideally, there will be a short break in my diary once every quarter to look forward to.

So last weekend I set aside a day - which actually wasn't quite long enough - to begin planning this year's breaks. Coincidentally, a girlfriend of many years emailed me to say she was booking a trip to Tassie to catch up with some old friends for her birthday....and she asked if we could make it. The timing was perfect.

In a couple of weeks we will get together with the group of friends I spent every weekend of my late teens and early twenties with. They were the friends who opened my world up in a way no one else has done since. Long before the term 'foodie' was coined, these guys were cooking delicious banquets from the pages of Gourmet Traveller. We would eat outside around an old wooden table that we would eventually carry down onto the beach so that we could savour the last of the sunlight.

We spent summery Sundays lying in the sun waiting for the boys to return from surfing trips, we rode the sailboard along the cool clear waters of the foreshore and in winter, sat around the fireplace playing Trivial Pursuit and drinking red wine.

These are the friends who taught me to make the most of every moment in life. They taught me to always buy the most exceptional ingredients, to cook beautiful food every day, to dance until dawn, to drink French champagne, to travel the world, to learn about art, to laugh...and to treasure incredible friendships.

It's been 20 years since we've all been in one place together. I can't wait to catch up.

drawing on the right side of the brain

2010-03-10T08:34:00.010+11:00

A couple of years ago I read Dan Pink's book 'A Whole New Mind'. In chapter six, he talked about a drawing class he took in New York City called 'Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain'. The course was developed by Betty Edwards and the emphasis is on teaching you how to see.

I was fascinated and searched to see if there was someone in Melbourne teaching the same way. I found Sophie Balchin, who trained under Brian Bomeisler (Betty Edward's son). Not only is she in Melbourne but she teaches just ten minutes from where I live. So it felt like it was meant to be.

I can't draw to save myself - really. There are some things I'm good at and being an artist just isn't one of them. When I told my girls that I was taking up drawing they both screwed up their faces and told me that would be hilarious. But I joined Sophie's evening course regardless and here's the unfinished piece I drew in last night's class (the girls are mildly impressed). It's no Raphael I know, but it's a good start considering I've attended just five sessions and I haven't had the chance to practise in between. If I did, I think I could possibly be ok!

I didn't join a drawing class because I wanted to become an artist - it was more to do with challenging myself by trying something new. And something to do with being courageous enough to step outside of my comfort zone. I don't enjoy doing things I'm not good at (do any of us?) but I know they teach me the most about myself. I also know that being creative in any way is going to help me to be a better writer - and that's something I'm really interested in.

I've taken far more away from this class than I'd imagined I would. I've learned how to see the world differently physically and of course that will change my perspective metaphorically too.

I can't recommend this course more highly. (And no, you really don't want to see the drawing I did in week one!).

improving emotional intelligence

2010-02-24T17:45:00.013+11:00

One of the best speakers at the Positive Psychology Conference was Martyn Newman. He is a charismatic man to begin with and his use of interesting content, relevant anecdotes and just a little bit of humour made his talk truly captivating.

Martyn spoke about emotional intelligence. In his book 'Emotional Capitalists' he highlights a range of different areas that are the key success factors in developing emotional intelligence. These factors are often considered more important that IQ in determining success. Here's a snapshot of them.

1. Self Awareness
The ability to understand your feelings and emotions and the ability to communicate these effectively. Being self aware also means that you have the ability to recognise how your actions impact others.

2. Self Management
Self management is about having the capacity for self control and restraint where necessary as well as being able to plan independently and carry through with your actions. It's also about self confidence - being able to accept and respect the person you are.

3. Social Awareness
This is largely about empathy - having the ability to tune into the experience of others. Having a good degree of self awareness helps with this.

4. Social Skills
This one speaks for itself. In a nutshell it's about the ability to get along with others.

5. Adaptability
Martyn suggests that adaptability means that you're flexible enough to adjust to new situations and challenges but that you also have the capacity for self-actualisation and optimism.

You can build on your emotional intelligence. There are lots of tips in Martyn's book but here are a few from me that will get you started.

Learn about your strengths so that you can become more aware of where you are naturally most at ease. Take the free Authentic Happiness VIA Character Strengths survey.
Pay attention to the things (and the people) that naturally irritate you. Count to ten before responding in challenging situations so that you give yourself time to think about whether your response is going to inflame a situation or help you get you the results you're after.
Take some time to write down your 'thirty day goals' and make a point of taking action around each of those goals within the next twenty four hours.
Pay attention to the voice of your inner critic and challenge it from time to time. Make a point of noticing what you're doing well rather than always being hard on yourself.
Get out and practise being in new social settings. Do some preparation work around small talk topics if you're not a natural at this. Read the newspaper to find out what's going on around the world, learn about which sporting events are currently being staged or see a film/play/band that you wouldn't otherwise see to give you something new to talk about.

3 tips from the positive psychology conference

2010-02-16T07:18:00.027+11:00

I have just spent two inspiring days with my colleague Anne Allardice at Positive Psychology and Well-Being conference in Melbourne. There were some wonderful sessions highlighting the latest research findings in positive psych. We use this methodology in our work at Total Balance so it's exciting to see that there's more and more evidence that it really does work to increase happiness and wellbeing (at both a physical and mental level).

Most of the tools that are used are simple and practical. Try the exercises below and see which work best for you.

1. Three Blessings
At the end of each day write down three things that went well today and why. They don't have to be big things - just make a note of the small pleasures in your day. This is something I do with Chris just as we get into bed most nights. It's a way of connecting with each other with a positive focus (rather than whingeing about what didn't go well) and it makes us both reflect on the things that made our days good.

Some examples of my Three Blessings for yesterday:

One of my gardenias flowered today for the first time in years. It must have been the mulch we put down two weeks ago.

I loved that I was able to make my sister feel brighter by having a laugh with her on the phone this morning.

All of the girls from my Last Friday Lunch (more about this in a later post) emailed back to give me feedback about the design question I sent them. I love being in the company of such a wonderful group of like-minded woman.

2. Best Possible Self
Put aside an hour to write about the best possible version of yourself you can imagine. Begin by reflecting on a time when you felt the most happy and confident you have ever felt in your life. Bring as much detail as you can to this memory and then imagine that you can expand on these feelings. Think of a role model who has some of the qualities you really admire in others. Imagine you could easily adopt these qualities and using present tense, write out the version of your 'best possible self'.

For example: 'I have just finished speaking at the Positive Psychology conference about mindfulness and meditation. I felt calm and relaxed and really enjoyed the experience. The feedback I had afterwards was wonderful. I am delighted with my life these days - I have the most fulfilling relationships with my three closest friends and with Chris and the girls. I am enjoying my new yoga class and I'm proud of the fact that I have finally had my book published...etc.'

3. Gratitude Letter

Write a letter of thanks to someone who has done something for you that you consider to be special. Make the letter as detailed and as personal as you can and really spell out what it is that you feel so thankful for. Once you have finished, take the letter to that person and read it aloud to them. This is an exercise that usually results in a few tears. But they're good tears and it is an exercise that's guaranteed to make both of you feel wonderful! I won't bother giving you an example of this one...I'm sure you can do this one easily!

finding refuge

2010-01-29T09:14:00.010+11:00

Recently I was sent a copy of Rick Hanson's new book 'Buddha's Brain' to review. It's one of the best books I've read.

In one of the chapters, Rick talks about finding refuge. When I was a child I spent hours absorbed in novels, climbing trees and floating in a swimming pool or the sea. As a teenager, I listened to music with the headphones on, wrote in a journal, walked along ocean beaches and continued to read.

These days I read and write and walk along the beach. As well as these things I'll often spend a Sunday afternoon cooking, still with the music on but without the headphones...they're not that practical in the kitchen. I meditate and occasionally get out in the garden.

These are my places of refuge. The places that I retreat to that fill me back up.

Find a place of refuge and make time to escape there even for just a small amount of time every day.

no expectations

2010-01-21T07:06:00.010+11:00

Here's a lovely little story from The New York Times that I have only just stumbled across. What an inspiring woman. Her name is Elizabeth Goodyear and in 2008 she was 101 years old.

If you have the time to watch the slideshow the photos are truly beautiful....and you'll understand the title of the blog pos

Read her story or watch the gorgeous slideshow.

anticipation

2010-01-19T10:51:00.008+11:00

'"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best - " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.' A.A. Milne

Sometimes anticipation is almost better than the real thing. All through our lives we anticipate the future. Some of us with a degree of trepidation, others with an almost unrealistic optimism and the rest of us, somewhere in between.

Sadly, many people reach adulthood and ask 'is this all there is?'. The life they had anticipated hasn't come to fruition or if it has, it doesn't feel the way that they had expected it would. What do you do when anticipation is no longer a blissful pastime? Do you accept the way things are or continue to look for new things to dream about?

There's a fine balance between being with the way things are and acknowledging that this just isn't enough.

And quite simply, if it doesn't feel that it's enough, it's not.

If there's nothing joyful that springs to mind when you think of the word 'anticipation', maybe it's time to change something.

What you are anticipating - for the next few months, for 2010 and maybe even for the next five years?
Are there things to look forward to in a whole range of areas of your life?
Are there little things you look forward to every day?

5 ways to be happier

2010-01-10T10:36:00.011+11:00

To me happiness is feeling that sense of quiet peace within and having the knowledge that I'm making time for the things that really matter.

Here are five simple steps (all backed up by scientific research) to improve your happiness:

1. Spend more quality time with the people you love

Our close relationships are one of the most important factors in our emotional wellbeing. When you feel flat often you're inclined to withdraw socially which isn't always best thing for you. Even if it takes some effort, it's worth reconnecting with people who care about you. And the key here is spending quality time - this is not about being with your partner and being only half present. Put your mobile away and turn off any other distractions (television, computer etc). Really connecting is the key.

2. Exercise at least three times each week for thirty minutes

Ideally this needs to have an aerobic element to it so that your heart rate increases. Research has shown that just thirty minutes, three times a week can be as beneficial as taking a low dose anti-depressant.

3. Cultivate the habit of gratitude

Keep a gratitude journal next to your bed and at the end of each day write down at least three things you're grateful for or three things that went well during the day. They can be the smallest of things...the habit is simply to connect with the things that make your life more fulfilling.

4. Accept painful emotions

As Tal Ben-Shahar says, the only people who don't feel painful emotions are psychopaths and the dead. Life is never going to be without suffering - what makes it more difficult is the way we respond to that suffering. When we can accept difficult emotions as part of the journey we

5. Simplify your life

Most of our lives are too busy and overly complex. We need computer free days, time away from Blackberries and iPhones and shopping, processed foods, traffic, noise. Return to the simple things in life - spend time in natural environments, eat food that is close to it's natural state, walk in the park or along the beach or find somewhere to just enjoy half an hour of silence.

the dalai lama on a quiet mind

2009-12-21T20:27:00.007+11:00

I loved Sarah Wilson's article in this week's Sunday Life magazine (a copy of which is also available on Sarah's blog).

Sarah was due to meet with the Dalai Lama last week and a few days ahead of time she found herself wondering about what to ask him. Finally she settled on a question that I get asked in every one of my meditation classes - "How do I get my mind to shut up?'" To which His Holiness replied, "There's no use. Silly! Impossible to achieve! If you can do it, great. If not, waste of time."

What a fabulous response. He has a terrific sense of humour, this wonderful man. Whenever I've been to see him speak I've been delighted by his lightheartedness.

Many meditation teachers may disagree but I'm with him on this one. Stopping the mind from chattering is impossible for most of us to achieve other than for the briefest moments.

I believe the real objective of meditation is awareness. Rather than aiming for complete silence in the mind, try just noticing the chatter and watching it go by without getting caught up in it.

blog with heart challenge

2009-12-08T13:07:00.015+11:00

We've made a family decision not to give gifts this year but to donate instead. As it so happens, a great blog post from Write to Done landed in my inbox today telling me about their 'Blog With Heart Challenge'.

Mary Jaksch from Goodlife Zen and Arvind Devalia from Make it Happen are hosting the Blog with Heart Challenge 2009/2010 in order to harness the combined power of blogs to alleviate poverty. The Blog with Heart Challenge 2009/2010 uses Kiva a highly respected non-profit micro lender. Kiva allows you to lend as little as $25 to a specific low-income entrepreneur in the developing world and as they repay the loan, you get your money back. Watch this short video to see how Kiva works:

We have set up a Total Balance team at Kiva and we'd love you to join. Just click on the team link and join us in providing a loan that will change someone's life.

meditation workshop

2009-11-24T18:32:00.019+11:00

A couple of weekends ago I ran my first one day meditation retreat in Melbourne and it was a fantastic day.

I sent out an invitation to women I knew and the class filled in no time - it was one of those days that had a great vibe right from the word go. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday and we had a wonderful venue, great food and the pleasure of each other's company. I think I enjoyed the day more than anyone!

Liz from Lizzy C Photography joined us and took these gorgeous photos in between meditations and everyone wrote a beautiful testimonial and sent it through the following week. How lucky I am to be surrounded by such wonderful women.

I can't wait for the next one (which is already booked out). We'll be running lots more of the same next year before our longer retreats to Bali and Byron Bay.

'I wanted to thank you for the meditation retreat. It was a wonderful time. I feel that you really introduced me to the world of meditation in a way that took any mystery away and before I even started, I felt confident that it was something I could do. All I really wanted was a day to stop and learn a new skill that could allow me to 'stop' in my own home. I am realising more how important it is to live in the moment with mindfulness. You have a beautiful, calm style, Kate. You are real and show vulnerability, which in turn creates an intimate environment. I felt very safe in the space you created, which is so important, because meditation and discussing deep-seated issues can feel so raw to the participants, yet I felt that it was ok.

Thanks so much, Kate. You led a beautiful day and have started me on a path that I can see is going to be beneficial for myself and our family. At the risk of sounding corny, I really feel that you are right in the centre of what you were created to do; how fabulous is that?’ Shelley

mindfulness

2009-11-08T15:02:00.006+11:00

I'm speaking this week at the Serious Business Women's conference in Melbourne about mindfulness, something I have a strong belief in. I'll post more about mindfulness in the coming weeks but until then, here's an excellent introduction from Dr Bob Stahl.

best of new york

2009-10-20T07:38:00.012+11:00

What a fabulous city! In ten days we have walked most of Manhattan - it is the best way to experience the richness of this place. We stayed in a quiet little sublet in Chelsea and wandered up and down the treelined side streets so we got to know our neighbourhood.

We ate breakfast at Pastis in the Meatpacking District (top right), rode the subway (bottom left) home each day when our feet were tired from walking. We sat in the reading room in the New York Public Library (one of my favourite experiences), visited MoMA, the Guggenheim and a host of edgy galleries in Chelsea.

Every day it seemed that we just wandered from one fabulous cultural experience to another. Walking down Mulberry St through Chinatown on a sunny Sunday afternoon we ended up in Columbus Park, the meeting place for Chinese locals where groups of men sat together at tables playing checkers while women sat at others playing cards or chatting. In a raised rotunda with open arched windows, we watched group practise tai chi. Across the road was a colourful collection of shopfronts with the classic New York fire escape painted in a vibrant red. Such a contrast to the subdued hues of further uptown.

We walked the Brooklyn Bridge, discovered The Strand bookstore, stumbled into an Italian cafe where they made the most delicious pannini and where the wine was bought to the table in a tiny carafe and swirled into crystal wine glasses too big to hold in one hand. We ate tuna carpaccio and fig and jamon with gorgonzola for afternoon tea (luxurious!) and found the best cafe latte in NYC at Grumpy's on West 20th.

We have had the time of our lives. (If you're interested, here are a handful of photos http://picasaweb.google.com.au/totalbalancekate/NewYork#).

fun theory

2009-10-16T00:31:00.007+11:00

Thanks Anon...I love this. There should be way more fun in life!

all in a week

2009-10-02T08:13:00.027+10:00

A few things I learned this week.

1. It's worth backing up your computer. Thoroughly. It will die at some point in time just as mine did this week. Luckily I had backed it up but I'd forgotten a few things. Amongst them, iTunes unfortunately. Apparently I can upload from the iPod so that's next week's job.

2. A weekend at the beach makes everything more bearable. Even the computer dying didn't really phase me. I would have felt differently last week.

3. Good and bad always balances itself out. I had the best bit of PR I've ever had this week in a great article about my guided meditations written by Renata Provenzano for this month's Australian Natural Health magazine. As well as that, I had three magazine & newspaper interviews and a live radio spot on radio 2GB.

4. My clients are full of wisdom. A pearl from this week: we all have 168 hours in a week, around 50 of those are for sleeping, 50 or so for work, a few more for eating, showering, commuting etc. So that leaves about 50. What will you do with yours?

5. My house is a much more beautiful place with a bunch of fresh flowers. I didn't get a chance to buy any this week and I really missed them.

6. It's fun to go out on a school night and even better if it's to see live music. We went to the Corner Hotel to see Jimmy Little on Tuesday with friends and had one of the most enjoyable nights I've had in a while.

7. I love the louvre windows, quirky little bottles with flowers, friendly service and the flourless orange cakes at my favourite local cafe Martin St Cafe & Providore. And they have the best gnocchi I've ever eaten.

8. Despite the fact that I love taking photos, I have never had my own digital camera. Chris decided it was time I did so he bought me a little 'point and shoot' Canon this week. While I've always a bit of an SLR purist and my old film camera is in perfect working order, I'm already completely taken by this little gem.

9. Planning an overseas holiday for just the two of us is probably as much fun as the holiday itself will be. In a week's time we will be in New York...and I now have my little camera to take lots of photos.

10. People constantly amaze me (in a good way). Someone who has really touched me this year with her profoundly beautiful writing and her honest account of a truly wonderful family is Renee from Circling My Head. Not only does she write in a very real way, she takes the time to respond to all of her reader's comments...even in the midst of her grief.

sydney take two

2009-09-20T15:51:00.014+10:00

I was in Sydney again this week at another conference. I didn't wag this one...it was too good to miss (besides which, I was presenting).

It was the second year of Flying Solo Live - an event that brings together a host of small business entrepreneurs. I've been writing for Flying Solo for a few years now but I hadn't yet had the chance to meet Robert, Sam and Peter in person. It was such a pleasure to catch up with them and all of the other wonderful people who attended including the lovely Zoe from zfweb and Greg from Dedication Group who took me to Bodega for sensational tapas on Tuesday night.

The highlight of the day for me was seeing my colleague Joanna Maxwell from WorkInColour present her Creative Thinking session. It was standing room only...understandably! There is so much demand for innovate thinking in business these days and Joanna's session was a heap of fun. She'll be in Melbourne later this year so if you're in business and looking for creative thinking training for your staff I can highly recommend her workshops.

I'd taken some time out on Tuesday afternoon to visit some galleries in Paddington and Woollahra as well as the Sydney Museum of Contemporary Art. Absolute bliss!

acceptance and commitment therapy

2009-09-09T21:03:00.018+10:00

I've been in a training course for the past few days learning about ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy). I am in love with this model because it is everything I've been doing for years that I had no name for. Of course, I'm not a therapist but the method is also used by coaches. We just have to know our limits and refer clients on when they need more than we can offer.

Russ Harris, author of 'The Happiness Trap' ran the training. He is an immediately likeable, down to earth guy who happily shared his story with the one hundred participants who attended.

The room was full of therapists and coaches and he asked us if any of us ever run the 'I'm not good enough story'. The room filled with laughter. 'No seriously,' he said. 'Put your hand up if you do.'

Every person there raised their hand. And then he laughed - 'See, all the therapists in the world are troubled too!'. How very true. Just because we work to help people resolve their issues doesn't mean we're not human.

The beauty of this model is that it's all about accepting just that. There will be suffering and difficulty in our lives and rather than trying to escape that through changing our thoughts or running away from our feelings, we need to accept the experiences that go with that suffering. This doesn't mean negating your experience, it means noticing it in a mindful way and making room for it without judgement.

As well as acceptance, the theory invites us to clarify our values and align our actions with those values in order to create rich, full and meaningful lives.

Which means that sometimes we need to accept the things we can't change, make the most of what we have and as much as possible, be at peace with the challenges life sends our way.

So much easier said than done.

'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.'

more meditation

2009-09-03T09:42:00.008+10:00

It's interesting how life can just roll along easily and then without any warning things begin to feel misaligned.

I've had this sense in the past few weeks. I knew that something wasn't right but I wasn't sure what it was.

What I do when I get to this place is meditate.

Years ago I had a difficult business decision to make that I had mulled over for many weeks. I was being advised by lawyers to go in one direction by in my heart, I knew their advice didn't feel right. Yet I stood to lose a lot and I was worried that my instinctive withdrawal was merely driven by fear. I was stuck - I just couldn't decide.

So I meditated. I went to a workshop run by a friend and spent half a day in quiet contemplation - and the answer was there. My instinct was right. I followed it and it turned out to be the best decision I could have made.

Often things fall into place when you make space for the answers to arise in their own time.

sand dancer

2009-08-20T08:45:00.004+10:00

I love people who just get on and do their thing. Very inspiring.

the art of listening

2009-08-18T13:35:00.004+10:00

Here's a little story that a friend emailed me which I just love.

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning.

A man with a violin plays six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approximately two thousand people passed through the station, most of them on their way to work.

After 3 minutes a middle-aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin valued at $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the price of seats averaged $100.

This is a true story.

Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognise talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made……….. what else are we missing?

getting things done

2009-08-09T17:31:00.008+10:00

'I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning.' Mahatma Gandhi

There's something very frustrating about having things on your 'to do' list that never get done.

Regardless of whether they are written down or just in your head, the tasks you don't get to cause you internal grief because they tell you something about yourself. That maybe you're not that good at getting things done.

There are two parts to this problem. Firstly there's the question of which tasks you include on your list and secondly, there's the issue of overcoming procrastination.

Lengthy 'to do' lists are a trap. While it's important that you have a long term vision and detailed goals, when it comes to tasks, it's far more effective to have a list that includes only your current projects. And by current, I mean those that you can realistically complete within the next week.

Longer term items are better left on your goals list. When a goal becomes a high priority, then it's time to detail the actions and include those actions on your task list.

A task, by definition is a 'definite piece of work'. Tasks are specific, finite and measurable. When you assign a task to your list, you should have an idea of how long it will take to complete and ideally, you'll block out a specific time to do just that.

Review your list now (or as soon as you've finished reading this) and if you're brave enough, delete some things forever.

Any longer term items should be moved to your goals list. All other tasks should be reviewed and broken into small, measurable chunks that can be scheduled into your calendar within the next week.

Then if you find yourself avoiding an activity even when it's scheduled, you'll know that procrastination is your issue.

Overcoming procrastination is primarily about self discipline. In her recent blog post Penelope Trunk talks about how self discipline builds upon itself.

As she says, one famous study 'found that students who walked with a book on their head to fix their posture ended up eating better, studying harder, and sleeping more. Without even noticing they were making those changes.'If you've previously tried everything else to help you overcome procrastination, start by building your self discipline.

Create one new habit and stick to it for seven days. Try these (or create one of your own):

Set your alarm to get out of bed ten minutes early to exercise or meditate

Create a new habit of tidying your desk at the end of each day

Commit to making your bed before you leave every morning

Get your tax done (I know it's boring but you'll feel so much better once it's out of the way)

Walk around the house with a book on your head for five minutes each day!

Don't expect to become disciplined in every area of your life overnight but at least by getting started you might overcome some procrastination.

Then when it comes to tackling a task you've been struggling with, simply get started at your scheduled time. You might surprise yourself.

synchronicity

2009-08-05T17:48:00.007+10:00

My daughter Meg and I were watching television last night together.

An ad came on for a lottery draw. I turned to Meg and said 'what number do you pick?'. We both spoke at the same time. '22,' she said just as I said 'I choose 22'. We laughed. Strange things like this happen often in our family.

Then the first number out was...you guessed it...22!! That really cracked us up.

so clever!!

2009-07-26T17:19:00.004+10:00

be yourself

2009-07-25T11:15:00.000+10:00

I had dinner last night with the guys who organise the annual meditation conference in Melbourne. They do a fantastic job and this year's event had a line up of inspiring speakers and some great workshops. I was invited along last night to brainstorm about next year's event which was flattering...and fun. It's not often that I get to go out to dinner with four men!

Just as we were leaving, Matt from Melbourne Meditation Centre showed me a poem called 'Be Yourself' which is a lighthearted little piece about just being you.

Be Yourself
You must learn that you cannot be loved by all people
You can be the finest apple in the world - ripe, juicy, sweet,
succulent - and offer yourself to all.
But you must remember that there will be people who do not like apples.

You must understand that if you are the world's finest apple, and
someone you love does not like apples, you have the choice of becoming a banana.
But you must be warned that if you choose to become a banana
you will be a second-rate banana.
But you can always be the finest apple.

You must also realise that if you choose to be a second-rate banana.
There will be people who do not like bananas.
Furthermore,
You can spend your life trying to become the best banana -
which is impossible if you are an apple
- or you can seek again to be the finest apple.

(Unknown)

good clean fun

2009-07-24T17:49:00.002+10:00

gertrude st projection festival

2009-07-11T11:21:00.010+10:00

Lucy at Design Files (who is always across all of the cool creative stuff going on around town) posted about the Gertrude St Projection Festival last week. She has some great photos on her blog so take a look.

We went on Friday night and it was fantastic.
As suggested by Lucy and recommended by Shelley, we ate first at Ladro who have the best wood fired pizzas I've eaten (try the Puttanesca...it's delicious). We couldn't book a table so took a chance and just turned up which was great because they squeezed us into a little spot in the window which very cosy but we like that.

With a glass of red each, we had front row seats to the brilliant work that lit up The Builders Arms. Very clever.

It's finished for this year unfortunately but make a note in your diary for next year's show.

the summer day by mary oliver

2009-07-08T10:20:00.006+10:00

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

by Mary Oliver

you can change the world

2009-06-29T14:56:00.002+10:00

i've got a new desk!

2009-06-23T16:16:00.007+10:00

I've been waiting over a year for my new desk. We have the best cabinet maker in the world, Darren, who did our kitchen some years ago. He's always really busy so when I asked him to build my desk, we agreed that it could wait until whenever he had some time free.

And finally, a week ago he called and said 'it's this week Kate'. It was well worth the wait. I now have bookcases and cupboard space and filing drawers that really work...and a pinboard which I'm so excited about!! Finally a place to gather all of the bits and pieces that inspire me.

(If you're in Melbourne and you need some cabinet work done, drop me a line and I'll give you Darren's number. He is truly fantastic!).

about our clients

2009-06-19T07:34:00.010+10:00

I've finally taken the time to think about what links the people I work with.

Most of them are creative in some way. This doesn't mean they are artists or musicians necessarily but they are people who think outside the square (or want to learn how to).

They might fit into mainstream culture but feel that there's something missing. They like genuine conversations and don't enjoy small talk. Some (but not all) are interested in meditation; a few would call themselves spiritual; most like to travel and learn about different cultures and all are interested in becoming more self aware.

Here are some of the other traits they share. They are people who:

want to live more than just an 'ok' life
feel a connection with the word ‘creativity’ even if they don’t actively pursue a traditional creative interest
often feel disillusioned by the corporate world
work in their own creative or wellbeing business (or would love to be able to)
would like the opportunity to give back to society at some point
have an interest in social justice and care about the environment
sometimes feel more sensitive or more questioning than others. They may think more deeply, feel more empathy or see beauty in places that others don’t
don’t value the accumulation of material possessions as the most important thing in life
sometimes feel 'different' and want to understand themselves better
often prefer having a small number of meaningful friendships
value authenticity and genuineness
want to live a life that has purpose and meaning

I spend my days having inspiring conversations with these wonderful people. Is it any wonder that I love my work?

the awe-summ award

2009-05-20T10:20:00.016+10:00

The lovely Jacinta from One Little Acorn gave me a blogging award. I have to list 7 things that make me awesome which like Jacinta, isn't something I find that easy. But I'll give it my best shot!

1.I genuinely love being a mother and I think I'm reasonably good at it.

2.I get things done.

3. I'm a good listener. I love people's stories and 'real' conversations so I'm not great at listening to gossip or small talk but tell me what's really going on in your world and I'll listen for hours.

I'm willing to get out of my comfort zone. When I started my business I swore I would never do any public speaking and now find myself looking forward to speaking to groups of 250. Who would have thought?

I love cooking and people tell me I'm pretty good at it.

I've created a beautiful home (with lots of help from Chris). It's just a little timber cottage so pretty humble but that's the way I like it. It's cosy and welcoming and filled with sunlight.

I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong.

Now I have to choose seven awesome blogs...that's a tough decision. I'm going to have to cheat and include Renee from Circling My Head because hers is my fave blog of all time.

1. Circling My Head
2. Nourish Me
3. Femme de Montmartre
4. Options for a Better World
5. Safe Space Coaching
6. Leaves & Sand
7. Fabulously French

Below are the rules and guidelines to the Awe-summm award:
* List 7 things that make you Awe-Summm and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love.
* Make sure to tag your recipients and let them know they have won!
* And finally link back to the blogger that tagged you.

Total Balance

a beautiful weekend

oh the places you'll go

harvest

the economics of happiness

what success really looks like

life is short

on gratitude

defining your values

byron bay retreat

Spring cleaning

are you ok?

wired to worry

what I've noticed

what I'm listening to

on being vulnerable

inspiring women

being on retreat

what could you change?

daylesford

meditation workshop

creativity

work life balance workshop in Melbourne

reconnecting

visiting mona

a creative career: where to begin

eat with me - a clever social networking idea

guest post: all as one

we're thinking of you

interesting clients: alex brennan

inspiring people

inspiring people

chasing a dream

making assumptions

'buy nothing' for february

being mindful

the power of intention

bon à manger

byron bay meditation retreat

wishing anne well

interesting clients: carol scott

finding your dream role

more fun

living a purposeful life

hurry mindfully

are you happy?

people matter most

quieten the noise

interesting clients: jodie holmes

the real you

finding refuge in bali

interesting clients: rebecca smith

the girl effect

two minutes to soothe stress

for fun

wake up to wellness workshop with sherry strong

interesting clients: greg pritchard

is gratitude enough?

serendipity

interesting clients: shelley trbuhovich

Happy birthday Mukhtar!﻿

10 ways to stay motivated at work

we've got a new look!

being real

interesting clients: liz bull

building resilience

only in hobart

6 tips for decision making

a beautiful thank you

realising a dream

old friends

drawing on the right side of the brain

improving emotional intelligence

3 tips from the positive psychology conference

finding refuge

no expectations

anticipation

5 ways to be happier

the dalai lama on a quiet mind

blog with heart challenge

Happy birthday Mukhtar!